What Is BDSM Sex?
The phrase "BDSM" refers to control, submission, and dominance in sexual relationships. In most cases, the technique entails one partner being more submissive during sex and the other more dominant.
In 2016, a survey found that 60% of men and around 47% of women fantasize about being in control during sex. Men were more likely to have these fantasies than women.
The survey results showed a significant difference between the genders in terms of sexual fantasies. Researchers discovered that people of all ages, genders, and ethnic origins performed BDSM sex. However, they did find that it was slightly more common in couples who identified as LGBTQ.
What is light BDSM?
For novices, a few "light" BDSM exercises might be an excellent place to start. These may consist of:
- Hair pulling
- Handcuffs
- A scarf or tie bondage
- Blindfolds
- Light spanking
- Role-playing
What are a dom and a sub?
One partner usually assumes the dominant (dom) role in a relationship, while the other thinks she is the submissive (sub) role. A top/bottom dynamic is the term used to describe this dominating and submissive interaction. In spanking, bonding, whipping, and other sexual situations, the dominant partner, or top, usually takes charge. The person who is submissive can still have control by asking the other person to do certain things or switch roles.
What is a switch?
A person who switches between being dominant and submissive depending on the situation and partner is known as a "switch."
BDSM Categories
BDSM can be divided into these categories using its abbreviation.
Bondage
This entails restricting a partner's range of motion using handcuffs, ropes, or other devices.
Discipline
A dominating partner can exert authority over a subservient spouse by establishing rules and consequences.
Dominance
This is demonstrating control over a partner physically, whether or not it occurs during intercourse.
Submission
A partner submits to the wishes and actions of the dominating partner.
Sadism and masochism (or sadomasochism)
This is about one partner enjoying causing pain (sadism) or receiving pain (masochism), whether it's emotional or physical.
There is no one way to apply BDSM; these are only the basic categories. BDSM involves power dynamics, role-playing, pain, bondage, wax, edging, sensory deprivation, and humiliation as different types of activities.
How BDSM Sex Works in Relationships
In relationships, engaging in BDSM sex can be pleasurable for both parties. Many people in BDSM see it as a way to explore trust, vulnerability, control, and submission. It allows them to let go and play out different ideas in a safe and consensual manner.
According to a tiny study, engaging in a BDSM dynamic can lower stress and elevate mood. According to other studies, using wholesome BDSM scenes encouraged partners to feel more intimate.
Safety Advice and Special Considerations
Consent
The act of consent is the most crucial component of BDSM intercourse. Partners should always ensure that everyone expresses clear boundaries and grants enthusiastic agreement. You can set boundaries with a formal contract, verbal agreement, or casual discussion about goals and limits.
Safe words
It's crucial to offer a safe word because certain BDSM situations can be rather intense. One person can stop the current activity or the whole thing if they feel uncomfortable during the encounter with their partner.
Using the traffic signal system to negotiate borders is another method. Every color expresses a partner's desires and feelings.
Red indicates that they want their partner to quit right now. When anything is colored yellow, they want their spouse to slow down due to bodily discomfort or hitting a limit. Green indicates that they are comfortable, like what the partner is doing, and want to continue.
Learn about more intense sensual activities like using whips, advanced bondage, or sex toys before trying them. Take classes, read books, or watch online tutorials to educate yourself before participating in these activities.
Exploring BDSM Sex
Talk to your partner about what you want. BDSM includes many various sexual practices and dynamics, and each person uniquely approaches BDSM sex. Tell your partner your preferences and what you're searching for.
BDSM Aftercare
Aftercare is a practice that partners engaging in BDSM intercourse can engage in. After a scene, this is how partners tend to one another.
It could be taking a bath together, sharing a hug, or engaging in another soothing activity. A conversation regarding what went well, what didn't, and how each partner feels can also be included. Talking after sex can help both you and your partner feel physically, mentally, and emotionally safe.
Takeaways
In a partnership known as BDSM, one partner assumes a more dominant position while the other remains more submissive. In certain instances, this may entail using sex toys or role-playing. In some situations, one partner might physically hurt the other or bind them (with a rope, handcuffs, or other bonds).
To ensure that BDSM sex is safe, communication is essential. Consent is a crucial component of that.
A safe word is another component of BDSM sex. One person can stop or pause sex if they feel it's getting too intense.
After having BDSM sex, many people realize how important it is to engage in a calming activity. This can support the spouses' physical, mental, and emotional well.
