3 Scenes for a Beginner Femdom to Try

For individuals who are anxious about taking charge during playing, these three scenes offer a straightforward plan. And keep in mind: You're performing femdom correctly as long as you're in control and have your partner's approval.

Most persons who are raised in a female-presenting environment spend most of their formative years learning how to be submissive, delicate, soft, modest, and serving. Therefore, even if you've been dreaming about it every night, the thought of being "in charge"—and in charge of a scene—can be absolutely terrifying. Fantasy and reality are rarely the same.

Even though you may be anxious or afraid of taking leadership, I can assure you that it's not as difficult as you think—your spouse is unlikely even to notice if you make a mistake.

Fear of "failure" might prevent women and/or femmes from taking the initiative for a long time, if at all, even if they have been dreaming of being the ones making decisions. I was that woman, so I know.

These sequences that have been suggested would have significantly contributed to my increased sense of comfort in the role of leader. Even now, I usually have a broad "outline" of what I want to do before starting most of my feminist play sessions, if only to make sure that all of the toys I want are available and clean. (There's nothing more frustrating than desiring your favourite sex toy and discovering that it hasn't been recharged in a while.)

A rough strategy can help you feel a little less anxious and a little more secure about what's happening, but you don't have to go wild with a 37-page scene outline.

You may find yourself spreading out after you've practised a couple of these fundamental situations and begin to feel more at ease. Or all you want to do is reenact these situations, changing them to suit your mood that day. That's also acceptable!

Because that's the whole goal, utilize these simple outlines as tools to shape and alter them into what YOU want as a woman!

Femdom Scenes: Some Basic Info

Let's review the essential details before getting into the enjoyable stuff.

1. Most of these scenes involve blindfolding your partner.

There's a reason for that: Your spouse can't observe you if you take away their sense of sight.

This is a blessing in and of itself for anxious novices. Additionally, when your partner's sense of sight is taken away, every other touch is intensified, making everything you do more intense and enjoyable for them. I advise making the most of blindfolds; they are your buddy.

2. These scenes specifically mention genders and body parts.

Don't worry if your body parts and genders don't match the examples. Rewrite the following situations to suit your partner's preferences. If I went over every single gender and body option, it would take even more time to explain each case. The goal is to bring the fundamental concepts and modify them to suit your needs. That's the very purpose of femdom, after all!

3. All of these scenarios assume you and your partner have discussed your power exchange ahead of time.

...and establish a password in case someone begins to feel uneasy. If your partner says "Hell no!" when you tie them up or blindfold them without first talking to them, it might be a violation of their permission and result in a pretty dismal outcome.

Instead, have a conversation with your spouse about these thoughts long before you intend to make these fantasies a reality. Essential negotiation typically entails discussing (and obtaining approval for) the fundamental actions you believe you'll include, such as "Are you okay being bound?" You don't have to reveal the entire scene if you don't have it planned out or want it to be a surprise.

4. You'll notice a distinct lack of scenarios in which the dominant character is the sole focus of the scene.

There is nothing "submissive" about being the centre of attention. Thus, you are obviously free to rearrange anything to ensure that you are the only focus.

But I've discovered that the majority of femdom novices who are anxious about controlling a partner become much more worried if they are the focus of attention in any scene, particularly if getting all that pleasure requires them to remain still and rely more on spoken commands.

Because of this, these scenarios centre on the submissive partner, which makes it much simpler to focus on actions, get out of your thoughts, and eventually focus on your physical feelings in ways that are probably already familiar to you.

Let's move on to the exciting part now that we've covered the fundamentals. For a novice femdom, try these three scenes:

Scene 1: Control His Orgasm

Many would-be femdoms have previously provided handjobs and regulated the speed of their partner's orgasm, even if you're still new to the concept. Let's go further with that in this scene.

Tell him you're going to take over him for a while once he agrees to a brief power swap. Inform him that if he behaves well, you will let him have his way after you are finished, but if he disobeys, you will both have to do this again another evening.

After he has accepted your "terms," have him sit or lie down, however it is most comfortable for both of you. Put on a blindfold and instruct him that he cannot move any part of his body without authorization. (If he has trouble staying motionless, you may want to have him hold something in his hands or choose a particular body part. The goal is to remind him of some command constantly.)

What if he moves? He is defeated.

You have complete control over his body now that he is totally dependent on you and cannot even see you. It all comes down to what YOU want to do with his body (as long as it's within the activities he's agreed to). The following suggestions can help you get started:

• Move a feather across his body.
• Follow your fingernails and fingers down delicate spots.
• Please take out the massage oil and give him a body rub.
• Try to induce him to move from pleasure by using a vibrator, such as the Magic Wand Mini or Satisfyer Men Wand, on his penis.
• Tickle his most sensitive parts gently until you get to his genitalia, but make sure he remains still as you touch him or engage in oral intercourse.
• Try to "make" him lose by tickling his famous tickle places if you're a little more crafty.

You have a choice.

Every time he moves, give him a little swat on the thighs or butt with a little paddle or riding crop if you want to step it up. Another option is to slap the body part lightly if he moves incorrectly with your hand. (But bear in mind that, as I indicated above, any form of impact play should be agreed beforehand with your partner.)

Are you sick of your game? That's normal because it's not meant to endure forever!

Attempt reaching down and whispering that you've had a great time playing with him, that it's hot to watch him attempt to comply like that, and that you'd like to see how amazing he can make you feel right now. This will make it easy to move into the remainder of your playtime whenever you'd like to.

You can relax and let him gratify you, or you can absorb some of that power and exert a little more control over any subsequent sexual activities.

Scene 2: Basic Bondage

Bondage doesn't have to be complicated; you may improve on sex activities you've probably done with your spouse in the past by using some simple bondage concepts.

I suggest beginning this scenario with him lying out on the bed, nude, after obtaining his consent for a power struggle. (You can definitely start with him dressed, but it's challenging to convince a dressed man to strip off while he's restrained.)

Make use of any available bondage restraints. Use your wrist cuffs, ankle cuffs, or spreader bar if you have them! You can still tie his wrists over his head with a double-column tie if you only have a thick winter scarf (you can easily find one on YouTube)! You can also utilize anything that is in the middle.

Keep in mind that it all comes down to what you want to see him doing and looking like. I advise you to plan for any actions you wish to conduct to make sure his bound shape will still allow you to accomplish your goals. For instance, binding his hands to his thighs can interfere with your desire to engage in various female-superior sex positions.

Throw that blindfold in your partner's face after he has been restrained. Lacking one? You can also use a clean shirt or even a pair of old underwear. Do what you want to see and use your imagination.

Now that your companion is bound, blinded, and at your mercy, you are free to do as you please. You can do anything you want as long as it stays within his limits. However, I do have some entertaining ideas:

• Play with your partner's nipples by squeezing and pinching them. This might also be an excellent opportunity to place your breast clamps on him if you have any.
• Use your phone to operate a remote-controlled vibrator that you slide onto his penis. Using a cell phone-controlled vibrator or a prostate stimulator, you can accomplish the same thing!
• Place your cell phone close to his hand and inform him that he may only press one button if he requests additional pleasure while being held by a remote-controlled penis vibrator. Enjoy his happiness (or disappointment if he turns it off) as you watch which button he happens to press.
• Talk about using your favourite sex item on yourself. He will only be able to hear you having fun; he won't be able to see or touch.
• Try the sensations of the Kinklab Neon Wand to learn more about the realm of electro-sex. It's made to be a simple toy for beginners who want to explore electro-sex stimulation. Later, when you want to try more, it may be easily paired with the Power Tripper body contact probe.
• After inserting an anal toy, such as the Odile, b-Vibe Vibrating Snug plug, Thump-It, or LELO Billy, proceed with your other planned activities. This might be a quick and easy technique to bring more sensations to your play without needing extra hands if you're both into anal play!
• Do you want to pique his interest genuinely? Think of repeatedly teasing him and edging him toward climax. Using sex gadgets, such as a clitoral vibrator, penis stroker, or wand massager, can make this much more manageable, depending on your partner's anatomy. He will become putty for you to play with after you've done this for some time.

Naturally, you have complete control over how your scene ends. If you enjoy having oral sex, I suggest sliding up to sit on his face—if you're concerned about the weight, you may do this with ease by using sex furniture! And perhaps even being kind enough to let go of one of his hands so he can caress himself as he gives you pleasure. You are welcome to provide a strict directive that he cannot orgasm until you are satisfied.

On the other hand, his penis or vagina is entirely accessible when he is neatly tied up on the bed. Now is a fantastic time to slide on top if you feel like having sex. You can always strap a strap-on harness onto his body and use it in place of an erection if one is not now possible. Great sexual activity does not require an erection!

Scene 3: She's Your Sex Toy

Many submissive fantasies are rooted in the desire to be "owned" or "objectified." That is, to be utilized as something like a human sex toy that is specifically made for the enjoyment of femdom.

This straightforward scenario exploits that desire quickly and enjoyably. You can adjust the settings to suit your comfort level at any time, although this will feel the most "dominant" of the possibilities.

You should be stimulated and eager for some playing with your spouse when this kind of event occurs. Select a moment when your spouse has the time to have a sexual encounter with you comfortably but isn't already arousing you. (In other words, choose a time when you're feeling passionate following a particularly intense episode of your favourite show rather than approaching her while she's working on a project.)

Tell people you're turned on now that the timing is appropriate. You may either be direct and tell her that you want to use her as your "sex toy" tonight, or you can start giving her clues by becoming more tactile or pressing yourself against her. Whichever route you decide on, you'll probably find that your partner is more than happy to follow your lead as long as you're assertive without being unreasonable.

Then, ask yourself: How would you like to be pleasured today?

Treating your partner like a (consenting) object is the central theme of this scenario, so as long as you both know your safe words and you are aware that it isn't on their list of forbidden things, you can do whatever you want. Would you like to ride her if your sub strapped on a dildo? Would you like to turn her into your idealized sexual toy mount while she plays with your breasts and makes out with you while holding a vibrator for you to sit on? Do you want to relax and take pleasure in her company without doing anything? Choose the sex act or acts you wish to enjoy by letting your imagination run wild.

Your companion should feel like your "toy" who exists solely for your enjoyment, which is the crucial aspect of this. Although you don't have to use a lot of verbal cues (keep in mind that shady talk can make newcomers anxious), being direct and demanding about what you want and expecting them to provide it to you can make them feel objectified (in a positive way!).

If a blindfold or bondage doesn't interfere with your intentions, feel free to include it here. Or perhaps you would find a collar to be an attractive image. (After all, it can be a lot of fun to make sure she "knows her place" as your submissive by preventing her from moving while she is compelled to wear a sex toy holster.)

If you genuinely believe she will like being used as a "sex toy," don't let your spouse climax once you're happy. After all, sex toys don't cum. However, be free to witness their ecstatic joy if you so desire. Here, you set the rules.

Conclusion

You're performing femdom correctly as long as you have your partner's approval and are in control, regardless of the scenes you choose to do or what you do within them.