7 BDSM Tips for First Timers

Keep it easy, beginners. The majority of everything you need to get started is already in your possession.

Making your first foray into BDSM? Contrary to popular belief, it doesn't have to be as costly, edgy, or kinky. Here are some pointers to get you going.

Start With the Rear

Anal play is a kinky activity that beginners can absolutely try. Compared to other parts of the body, the sphincter has the most nerves. Prostate milking, butt plugs, anal beads, and anal stimulators are all options. (See Your Top 10 Questions About Anal Play - Answered for some suggestions on how to get started!)

Use What You've Got

Bondage equipment doesn't need to be very intricate. In fact, the stockings and scarves you have lying around the house may be used rather effectively as blindfolds and restraints.

It's preferable to have your spouse lie down before restraining them while you're first experimenting with bondage rather than having them stand still, even for a brief moment. To ensure that ties aren't overly tight, utilize the two-finger rule while tying restraints, much like you would when checking the fit of a dog collar. (Read more about rope bondage in The Ins and Outs.)

Experiment with Sensation Play

Bondage can push a sub's boundaries of trust and give a Dom/Domme visual pleasure, but it also amplifies the impact of sensory play.

On your partner's skin, try switching between applying ice and dripping soy candle wax, which melts at a low temperature (110 degrees). When you have a little more skill, you can safely make the entire body an electrical conductor by using electro-stimulation or a violet wand. (See Spark Your Sex Life: Electrosex for Couples for additional information.)

In addition to being fun, breast clamps come in a range of intensities. Before you purchase the clamps, try putting them on your hand to gauge your comfort level.

Another technique to enhance the tactile experiences during play is to use blindfolds. They make your partner concentrate on other senses, including as smell and hearing, which may be highly sexy, in addition to sight. Leather masks are attractive for impact, but scarves and sleep masks could be more affordable and equally effective. (Read Why Bondage Can Be So Much Fun for other reasons to bind each other up.)

Try Spanking

Try spanking play with your hand, which is the most accessible implement, before purchasing a paddle, crop, or flogger. Next, start with a paddle that has a softer substance on one side and leather on the other if you're serious about using spanking tools. For genitals, tiny, skinny wood paddles with a gentle tap are advised. Paddles made of wood and silicone are more aggressive and have a lot more bite. Additionally, perforated paddles hurt more.

Riding crops and flappers are excellent tools for novices that more seasoned players can employ just as successfully. The same is true of suede floggers, which might sting a little but can be applied very gently to the skin.

Whichever substance you choose, you should only apply it to soft tissue to prevent harming internal organs like the kidneys. For additional spanking advice, see Your Hand, My Ass: Erotic Spanking for Novices.

Don't Spend a Fortune on Toys

Does it make sense to spend more money on toys made by hand or using high-quality materials? It varies. Depending on the materials used, novelty tools from the majority of sex toy stores could not be as long-lasting or sturdy as handmade toys, but they are still not inferior. Additionally, more expensive, finely constructed products could make you feel more comfortable. It might be wise to wait until you are sure that you will be utilizing BDSM equipment for a considerable amount of time before making a significant investment in it.

Seek out BDSM Communities Online

To experience what it's like to be on the receiving end, Dommes and wanna-be Doms may also attempt to adopt a submissive role. One person leads, and the other follows in BDSM play, which is similar to having a dancing partner. Seeking guidance from a mentor and interacting with others on message boards and online communities such as FetLife may also be beneficial for novices.

The Brain Is the Most Powerful Sex Toy

When it comes to BDSM and other forms of sexual play, it is more crucial to comprehend the power of the mind than to have the appropriate toys and tools. The head is equally as crucial in sex as the body! Additionally, communication is essential, particularly when going kinky. Determine what makes each other tick (and what doesn't), have a conversation, and then get to work.

That wasn't so difficult.