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8 best sex positions for seniors
People over 40 don't have sex, according to the majority of media. You don't have sex if you're over 65 and not in Cocoon. For romance, you are meant to sit in adjacent bathtubs in a field while the sun sets.
In actuality, the majority of those over 65 think that having sex is crucial to a fulfilling relationship. The majority of us have a robust sex desire far into old age, despite the fact that everyone undergoes some bodily changes. A decent sexual life lasts until the very end if either of my grandparents is any guide!
Health considerations
Everybody's body changes with age, and these changes might affect our sexual performance and desire.
For those who have vaginas:
- Joint pain from arthritis, particularly rheumatoid arthritis, can make intercourse more uncomfortable.
- The weakening of the vaginal walls may result in increased dryness and discomfort during sexual activity.
- The vaginal canal may become shorter and narrower.
- Natural lubricant loses volume and gets thinner.
- The frequency of dryness and discomfort during intercourse increases.
For those who have penises:
- Erectile dysfunction can be brought on by diabetes and other long-term illnesses.
- An enlarged prostate may make it more difficult to achieve or sustain an erection.
- Less semen may be ejaculated, and orgasms may be milder.
- Both the erection and the climax may take longer to achieve.
For both sexes:
The desire and performance of sexual activity might be affected by chronic pain, notably lower back discomfort.
Diabetes can lead to problems with sexual performance and a decrease in sex drive.
You will need to change some of your sexual behaviours if you lose your flexibility and mobility.
Reduced blood supply to the genitalia due to heart disease can affect performance.
Fortunately, there are numerous strategies to deal with these problems and modify your sexual life in order to maintain a positive and healthy relationship with your spouse or partner.
Medication
As you get older, it's critical to comprehend how medicine affects your sex drive. Erectile dysfunction and vaginal dryness are side effects of many drugs. The majority of physicians receive little training on older adult sexuality and very little on sexuality in general. Your doctor might not be aware that a medicine causes sexual dysfunction or may not believe that discussing it with you is necessary.
"Just add lubrication" is not enough to address vaginal dryness. The majority of people react emotionally to increased vaginal dryness. To get the problem resolved to your satisfaction, you must learn how to discuss it with your partner or doctor. For additional details on how to manage vaginal dryness and a list of the more than 300 drugs that can contribute to it,
Medications can also bring on erectile dysfunction (ED). Consult your doctor if you start having erectile dysfunction after beginning a new drug or altering a medication's dosage. For many people with penises, erectile dysfunction medications like Viagra can be pretty beneficial. Before using ED medications, discuss any health issues with your doctor. Using ED medications can be risky for those with normal blood pressure and specific medical disorders.
Preparation
Sometimes, preparing for sex becomes more important as you get older. Taking medicine before sex with enough time for it to take effect can be beneficial if you have chronic pain or arthritis. Morning sex might be really painful if you have osteoarthritis, but afternoon sex can be very enjoyable once your joints have warmed up and lubricated.
It could be more comfortable to have sex before eating than after if you have developed acid reflux or a sensitive stomach. If you suffer from hypoglycemia, keep a tiny chocolate or granola bar by your bed.
Stretching gently can also be beneficial. Stretch lightly before sex if you have back and leg stiffness or leg cramps. This can help you avoid a painful Charley horse and make sex more comfortable.
Make sure to pack and set up your CPAP/BiPAP machine before having sex if you use it for sleep and intend to spend the night with someone. This will make it easier for you to roll over and go to sleep later.
Sex lubricant is your friend!
A common misconception is that using a sex lubricant indicates that you are not attracted to your partner or that you are not turned on yourself. This is not at all the case! Everyone feels better after having sex with lubricant. Adding lubrication is always a terrific way to improve the feel for everyone, regardless of how excited you or your partner(s) become.
Lubricating all forms of sexual play can be very beneficial for older adults with vaginal dryness since it can lessen the pain experienced during intercourse. The first step is to lubricate your fingers before stimulating one another. To assist in distributing personal lubricant into all the proper places during your sex routine, consider including a lube shooter.
Select the appropriate lubricant for the task at hand. Try using a lubricant that contains CBD if you wish to lessen discomfort, boost your body's natural lubricant production, or calm tense muscles. Cannabis contains a number of chemicals, including cannabidiol (CBD). It doesn't have any psychotropic properties. According to research, CBD can help lessen discomfort and improve the vagina's natural lubrication.
Using a flavoured lubricant that is safe to consume might be a terrific way to add some spice to your sex life if you intend to go from digital stimulation to oral sex. Flavoured sex lubricants are specially made to taste pleasant, remain slick during intercourse, and be safe to swallow.
Hybrid lubricants or anal lubricants such as Sliquid Sassy Booty Formula are superior to conventional water-based solutions when it comes to anal intercourse. Unlike water-based lubricants, these are made to remain slick and not degrade as quickly.
Other common concerns
As they get older, many people start to have every day worries. These may consist of:
- being self-conscious or worried about being spotted nude;
- worry about body odours;
- worries regarding your capacity for sexual activity;
- being unsure about how to express your desires.
The idea that older people are "sexy" is not widely portrayed positively. You could find yourself wondering who that "old person" is staring back at you in the mirror as your body transforms. You may feel uneasy about your appearance if you have wrinkles, grey hair, hair loss, or sagging areas that didn't use to be there.
Changing the things you read and watch can help with the emotional responses to ageing. Older adults are portrayed in a sexy and healthy way. You can feel more attractive and desired by following attractive older people on social media, reading erotica about older people, and reading periodicals that discuss and feature gorgeous seniors in personal relationships.
Share your worries with your partner or partners. It's safe to assume that your partner shares your insecurities about your appearance. Speaking up about your insecurities can strengthen your relationship and increase your comfort level while you are bare-assed.
Changing your bath soap is an excellent first step if you're worried about "smelling old," which is typically defined as a combination of Ben Gay, body order, and soup. Finding a body wash or soap that you like will help you feel more at ease with your scent, like scented body products. Look for alternatives if the pain creams you are taking have an unpleasant smell. More recent creams, such as Aspercreme and Valtoren, have minimal or no fragrance. Last but not least, your diet might alter your body odour. Garlic, cumin, onions, and other fragrant foods can be released via the skin. Altering your diet might also lessen the amount of smell that permeates your skin.
The first thing you should do if you are worried about your sexual functionality is to talk to your partner. You can be concerned over nothing if you are both having fun with your sex. Your partner may not be missing your stamina just because you don't have it like you did when you were twenty-five. In fact, people often say that sex gets better as they get older!
The next step is to discuss your performance with your doctor if you are still worried. Nearly everyone reports that the patient starts the talk concerning sexual problems. You shouldn't expect your doctor to inquire about your sexual history. Speaking with them about your sexual difficulties and potential treatment choices is something you should do on your initiative.
Your wants and desires will evolve as you get older. This occurs as a result of changes in our bodies, hormones, and psychological requirements. It might be challenging to bring up sexual desires in a long-term relationship if you don't discuss them frequently. Bringing up the subject with a new partner might sometimes be difficult.
Think about what you would like to ask your spouse for for a while. First, try putting your thoughts into writing or rehearsing them in secret. Finding the appropriate words and becoming at ease speaking them can take some time. When you eventually talk, it will be easier the more you practice.
Best sex positions for seniors
Missionary
For seniors, Missionary is a fantastic resource. There is a lot of face-to-face interaction in this role. You can stimulate and maintain your spouse or partner by making eye contact, kissing, and engaging in passionate conversation. Most people find it comfortable and has little impact. Try bending your arms and maintaining your weight on your forearms if you are on top and feel that holding yourself upright with your arms completely extended puts too much strain on your wrists, hands, or shoulders.
Try lifting your knees to a 45-degree angle if the person on the bottom feels that lying on their back causes too much strain. To find a position that feels comfortable, try lifting one or both knees.
Standing doggy style
One partner lies their upper body on the platform by bending forward while standing at the foot of a bed or counter. Behind them is the other individual. This job has a number of advantages. Instead of putting all the strain on their hips, the standing partner performing the penetration can utilize their legs to assist with the thrusting and avoid putting pressure on their knees. To lessen the strain on their legs and back, the person who is hunched over can bend their knees and utilize the bed to support their upper body.
This standing position offers great stability. As you age, balance can become challenging in many standing or semi-standing situations. Both individuals can use the bed or counter to support their upper bodies while maintaining their feet on the floor in this position.
Seated face-to-face
This position is ideal for someone who needs a wheelchair or has hip problems. With their feet on the ground, the person with hip or mobility problems sits in a chair. Their spouse sits on their lap, facing them, straddling them. The person on top can control the depth of penetration and thrusting pace.
During intercourse, this posture allows for a lot of eye contact as well as kissing and necking. Additionally, the person on the bottom can touch and caress their partner's back and butt.
Spooning
In the traditional "Big spoon-little spoon" position, both individuals recline on the same side (either the left or the right) with their knees slightly bent. From behind, the penetrating partner penetrates. The bed can sustain both partners' entire body weight in this position. In order to stimulate other body regions, the individual in the "little spoon" position can access their genitalia and chest.
Many people feel safe and intimate in this position. The cuddling and complete bodily contact provide the warmth and closeness that so many people seek.
The partner in the "little spoon" position can assist if the partner attempting penetration is struggling by elevating their top leg or bending forward slightly to make room for their partner's requirement for the proper angle to enter them.
Add positioning furniture
Muscle strength will decline with ageing. It can get more complicated to push your hips forward to meet your partner or hold your legs over your head. Your enjoyment might be considerably more comfortable with the addition of sex placement furnishings.
Consider expanding your collection with a sex pillow. To elevate a partner, place these firm cushions beneath their hips and lower back. When standing or in the doggie position, a person can lean over the wedge to support their upper body and chest.
Another alternative is to add a positioning sling. A positioning sling consists of a neck pillow, as those passengers use on aeroplanes, and a set of straps. The straps feature cuffs to attach to a person's ankles. Adjusting the straps supports a person's legs. This dramatically improves the comfort of holding your knees in the air while lying on your back in any posture. Additionally, these placement slings are excellent for easing lower back pain during intercourse.
Add sex toys
Seniors, sex toys aren't exclusively for crazy twentysomethings. You, too, can use them! As you become older, sex toys really come in handy. It will be beneficial to think of sex toys as enhancing rather than competing in bed.
You can prolong your lovemaking sessions by adding vibrators and blow job machines if you start to develop hand and wrist limits or simply don't have the same hand endurance as you did at forty. It's also likely that you and your spouse may require greater stimulation for more extended periods as you become older. A sex toy can be a handy addition to your routine.
The Doxy Massager Wand is a traditional vibrating wand design. The handle is excellent for those with restricted hand or shoulder mobility. People with arthritis can hold it comfortably because it is sufficiently broad. Larger bodies and couples with a significant height difference benefit from the longer-than-normal handle.
Additionally, the Doxy features a penile masturbator wand attachment. If you have trouble stimulating yourself or a partner with your hands, this attachment is quite beneficial.
A cock ring is a fantastic initial choice before incorporating medicine into your regimen if you struggle to keep a complete erection. A longer and more powerful erection is possible with cock rings, which fit around the base of the penis and assist in retaining blood in the erection. Choose a basic, non-vibrating cock ring to begin with; these are pretty adjustable and user-friendly.
To stimulate the clitoral or nipple, consider including a clitoral suction vibrator. The Womanizer is one of the devices that employs air pressure to suck tiny body parts. These toys are pretty fun for persons with clitoris, and they can provide them with a special feeling. If the clitoris can't handle the intensity of the sensation, try them on a partner's nipples.
Work on your Kegels
The flexibility of vaginal walls decreases with ageing. Additionally, mild incontinence may result from weakening of the pelvic floor. You may strengthen your pelvic floor and improve the comfort of sex by practising the clenching and relaxing of your Kegel muscles.
There are numerous new ways to work out your Kegel muscles. Modern Kegel balls, such as the Elvie, offer an insertable toy linked to a smartphone app. The app measures the duration and force of your muscle contractions as you contract and relax them. It allows you to follow a program that sets targets for the length of time and level of intensity that you spend working out certain muscles.
If you're not a fan of app-controlled toys, simpler alternatives, such as Fun Factory's Smartball Duo, are available. This Kegel exerciser has a remote control. A tiny handheld remote can be used to regulate any vibrations. It might be rather enjoyable to perform your Kegel exercises with these vibrations.
Keep In mind sex is more than penetration.
Many distinct kinds of stimulation occur during sex. Sexual intimacy includes more than just penetrative intercourse.
It's not enough to stimulate each other with your hands! Both you and your spouse require more stimulation to become aroused as you get older. One of the best ways to start sex and stimulate each other before penetration is to use your hands. For a thorough discussion of fantastic choices, see our post on handjob techniques to master or fingering techniques.
For those who have penises, hand jobs can be an excellent method to stimulate and build climax in a partner. For manual stimulation, be sure to lubricate your hands with a water-based sex lubricant. Both sides appreciate lubricated hand jobs.
Remember to have oral sex. It's fun and incredibly intimate to incorporate oral stimulation into your sexual activities. The thought of having oral sex without dentures or a bridge might be pretty tricky for many people to accept. On the other hand, practically everyone who has had oral sex with someone who isn't wearing their bridge or dentures says it feels fantastic!
Bottom line
At forty, sex does not have to end. In actuality, most people's sexual lives will continue to develop and get better over time. You can have great sex for the rest of your life if you communicate and make some adjustments!