How to Give a Blowjob: Step-by-Step Instructions

Although there are general strategies to improve your blowjob, each person is unique. To produce the sensations that work best for your partner, check in with them before, during, and after sucking them off.

We have the most amazing mouths. Through the enchantment of oral sex, they enable us to share secrets, eat, sing, shout, grin, kiss, and build sensational paradises.

Fellatio, also referred to as a blowjob, is a popular and cherished sex act among penis owners of all stripes. They're much more than just "put-dick-in-mouth-and-suck" either!

I spoke with Dainis Graveris, a Certified Sex Educator and Relationship Coach at SexualAlpha, and a few perceptive Adutoys readers who have been on the receiving end to find out what makes a perfect blowjob. I put out these detailed blowjob instructions based on their suggestions. Use them to give your spouse something they won't soon forget!

How to Use These Blowjob Instructions

I should go over some disclaimers before starting this detailed blowjob tutorial:

There's no actual blowing. Although it's unknown where the name "blowjob" came from, you probably won't be blowing air onto your partner's penis (unless you want to try out the potential feelings!).
Don't overthink it. A vital sexual tool is your thinking. Actually, according to a study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, "the cognitive-affective aspects of the orgasm experience were more closely linked to orgasmic pleasure and satisfaction than the sensory aspects." That means your ability to deliver head can be significantly impacted by your mental state, for better or worse. Try to unwind and focus as much as you can on your partner's enjoyment.
Blowjobs aren't a prerequisite for good sex. Both providing and receiving them are disliked by some people. Working on your blowjob abilities should only be done if it makes you feel sexually fulfilled, not because you feel compelled to do so in order to "keep your partner happy" or be "good at sex."
This blowjob guide isn't universal! What may it be? Every penis is unique! While there are general methods and approaches to improve your blowjob, there are as many different ways to define a "perfect blowjob" as there are penises. Before, during, and after sucking them off, check in with your partner to produce the sensations that work best for them.

Here's how to deliver a fantastic blowjob:

Blowjob Diagram

By being aware of the anatomy of the penis, you can increase your partner's enjoyment. Here is a helpful diagram:

The following penis segments are outlined above:

The frenulum. For many people, the most responsive part of their penis is this V-shaped elastic segment of skin that joins the foreskin to the glands on the underside. According to certified sex educator Ducky Doolittle, in Adutoys' webinar "Give Good Head: How to Make Oral Unforgettable," this is because the underside of the penis is "sitting against warm skin and, consequently, is not getting the same amount of sensation and friction as the rest of their body," while the top of the shaft "is touching their clothing and stuff all day."
The glans. The glans is the penile shaft's smooth, bulbous end. For those who are not circumcised, the foreskin covers the glans. With its abundance of nerve endings, the glans are sometimes likened to the clitoris in terms of producing profoundly delightful sensations.
The meatus. The term "meatus" on penises refers to the urine opening in the urethra, although it properly refers to any canal-like hole in the body. It's the hole from which semen is expelled, to put it another way. Because of its abundance of nerves that are also related to other parts of the genitalia involved in sexual pleasure, it is frequently referred to as the U-Spot.
The shaft. The penis's shaft, which consists of three cylinders of spongy, soft erectile tissue, extends from the scrotum to the glans. During sexual stimulation, the many tiny blood veins inside each cylinder fill with blood, resulting in an erection and making the shaft sensitive to touch, pressure, and temperature.
The testicles/scrotum. The sperm-producing glands called testicles, or "balls," are located inside the scrotum (sometimes called the "ballsack"). According to a paper published in the National Library of Medicine, the scrotum might be incredibly responsive to stimulation since it is supplied with feeling by four primary nerves through numerous nerve terminals. (It also explains why strikes in this region are known to be particularly unpleasant.)
The perineum. Between the anus and the sex organs lies a region known as the perineum. Since "all bodies experience a swelling and engorging in the genital area during arousal, which results in increased sensitivity of the entire genital region," certified sex educator Alicia Sinclair told "Refinery29," stimulation here can feel particularly nice during excitement. Because the prostate can be externally stimulated by "applying pressure to the perineum," as Sinclair said, this can be particularly true for penis owners who also have prostates.

Remember that not everyone who has a penis will find all of the following regions stimulating. For instance, the glans and frenulum are often the most sensitive parts of the penis, but some bodies may find oral stimulation there to be excessively strong. Be careful to ask your partner what they like, just like you would with any sexual act.

Blowjobs: A Step-By-Step Guide

Step 1: Oral Communication

"It's crucial for partners to have a relaxed conversation before giving or receiving fellatio," Graves added. "Discuss what motivates you both, any particular preferences, and most definitely boundaries and consent."

Before giving your spouse a blowjob, we advise talking about the following details:

Will a condom be used?
Is it necessary to shower first?
Am I giving you my head to indulge you or for our mutual enjoyment?
Are there any particular blowjobs that either of us would like to do, such as introducing a toy or flavored lube?
What will we do about ejaculation and orgasm?

The more you talk about your oral trip, the more debate ideas these questions will generate. Although there are essential factors to discuss, bargaining is also a chance to joke about and create anticipation.

"Keeping the vibe open, honest, and consensual makes for a way better experience for both of you," says Graveris.

Step 2: Know That Porno Blowjobs Aren't That Realistic

It might feel fantastic to give or get blowjobs. That doesn't alter the fact that they are perhaps among the most idealized sex acts, though. This is probably due to the fact that, in society, penises are frequently valued more for their sexual pleasure than vulvas or vaginas.

Due to the mystique surrounding fellatio, it is frequently unrealistically portrayed in porn. "In adult content, fellatio is frequently depicted in a manner that emphasizes aesthetic appeal and produces an idealized performance for the camera," notes Graveris. This may entail heightened stimulation, exaggerated angles, and a focus on appearance above the genuine fellatio sensation.

And although that kind of method can have its place in real life, blowjobs in actual life frequently appear very different.

The goal of real-life fellatio is to create a shared experience that takes into account the preferences, limits, and enjoyment of both parties rather than only concentrating on the mechanics. "To improve the overall sexual experience, it entails being aware of each other's cues, examining preferences, and putting mutual satisfaction first," Graves explained.

Everyone will react differently to giving or receiving a blowjob, regardless of speed. Communication is crucial because what worked for your previous spouse might not be appropriate for your present one.

Step 3: Blowjob Foreplay

The act itself may already be planned, depending on what you discovered in the pre-BJ chat.

But foreplay is nearly always a good idea, regardless of how you decide to start things off. According to Graveris, it's similar to warming up before working out in that it prepares everything for action. Therefore, take your time kissing, touching, and examining each other's bodies.

These are some suggestions for blowjob foreplay. Use them strictly as provided, or modify them to suit your needs!

After placing your lover on the bed, gradually undress them, rub their body, and tease them until you're ready to bite their penis.
To increase sensation, place a vibrator against their perineum.
Try using a low-setting air pulse vibrator next to the frenulum. (Keep in mind that the frenulum is among the penis's most sensitive areas; for specific partners, this can be a powerful sensation.)
Pull your partner's cock out and shove it in your face while you kneel and back them against a wall.

Step 4: Best Blowjob Sex Positions

The thing about delivering head that is often overlooked is that it can be rather taxing! Therefore, the most comfortable blowjob sex positions are ones in which both partners are involved.

If you're uncomfortable giving your partner oral pleasure, you're less likely to enjoy (and maybe repeat) the experience, even if you're highly turned on. Therefore, before choosing a posture to try, consider the body parts you will be using, preferably your arms, shoulders, neck, and jaw. Your back and knees can also be involved. Next, choose one or more sex positions that will provide you access to your partner's parts and that you can hold for more than a few minutes.

Adutoys readers suggest the following blowjob sex positions:

Flag Stick Oral Sex Position

The blowjob giver can fully control the sensations in the Flag Stick Oral Sex Position, while the recipient can fully immerse themselves in their enjoyment.

One reader wrote, "It is comfortable and I can unwind [in this position]."

"Moreover, the oral giver typically has the most comfortable control."

Additionally, the Flag Stick Oral Sex Position is incredibly flexible. To establish more convenient angles, you might try using cushions to prop up either partner or using a piece of sex furniture to line your parts better.

Sofa Oral Position

Several readers who commented on this article also mentioned how much they liked the Sofa Oral Position.

As one reader noted, "Posture is important and when you're standing you tend to slouch a lot." This highlights how sitting down during a blowjob helps one retain their optimum posture. This stance, according to another reader, "gives a subtle role of dom and sub for sure."

Two more significant advantages of this position are that it eases the giver's neck strain and can be more accessible for receiving partners who use wheelchairs or are unable to stand for extended periods of time.

However, these are merely a few places to start. Discover many more in our Sex Positions playlist if these positions aren't appealing to you!

Step 5: How to Use Your Tongue for a Blowjob

An anus has a tight ring, similar to the lips, and a vagina is warm and moist. Oral sex differs from other penetrative sex activities in that it is more creative and adaptable than either of them. Including this organ can elevate your blowjob to a new level.

Here are some ideas from Graveris about how to use your tongue in a blowjob:

Carefully inspect the most sensitive portions of the shaft as you lick it up and down.
Slide your tongue gently across the frenulum. But be careful because this area can be extremely sensitive.
Kiss and lick your testicles. Many people may find this to be a delightful area!

Because each person's pleasure zone is different, Graveris advised, "remember to check in with your partner to understand their preferences and desires."

Step 6: How to Use Your Hands During a Blowjob

The idea that blowjobs are focused solely on the mouth is another phallus misconception. Sure, they can be, but getting your hands dirty is entirely OK!

Contemplate this: Working with your hands and arms is something you do almost every day for long periods. As a result, blowjobs that include mouth and hand motions can be more comfortable and last longer for everyone.

According to Doolittle, you should softly push a partner's testicles up into their body while holding them in your palm.

"What is taking place is that you are applying pressure to the erectile tissue on the opposite side of the testicles," she explains. "That is far more sensitive because it simply does not receive the same amount of play as the rest of the shaft."

You can also use your hands in a blowjob in the following ways:

When your jaws get tired from sucking, apply more pressure to the shaft.
Licking the glans with your thumb on the frenulum or the other way around.
Reaching around to stimulate your partner's anus or reaching up to play with their nipples.

Step 7: How to Deep Throat

One more thing regarding blowjob mythology:

Deepthroating does exist, although it's not always desired or feasible.

The act of widening your throat to bring a penis closer to your mouth is known as deepthroating. While some people find this relatively easy, others find it impossible. This is due to the fact that everyone possesses a gag reflex, which keeps things from getting down our throats and hurting us.

The Deepthroat Position can facilitate deepthroating if you're interested in giving it a try. The receiving partner's mouth and throat are aligned in this oral sex position, which makes deepthroating easier. The typical mouth is two to three inches deep, while the average penis is five to six inches long. Consequently, you have more room for a penis to fit into when your mouth and throat are in alignment.

The providing partner must lie face-up on a level surface with their head hanging just a little bit off the edge in order to assume this position. After walking to the end of the surface, the receiving partner slides their penis down their throat and into their partner's mouth.

Make sure, though, that the providing partner can express their desire for a respite in this position through nonverbal means. Because the penis is positioned so deep in the mouth of the providing partner, if the nose or nasal passages are obstructed and the penis clogs the esophagus, asphyxiation may result.

Reiterating: Deepthroating isn't always desired or feasible. Additionally, the glans and frenulum, two of the penis' most sensitive nerve endings, are found in and around the head. Therefore, don't worry if deepthroating isn't something you can do or if you dislike it! For the finest sensations, focus your blowjob on the penis's most sensitive spots. Stop and go over Step One with your partner if they attempt to push you deeper or move your head lower than you feel comfortable with.

Step 9: From "Good" to "Unforgettable"

Oral intercourse is frequently elevated by the setting and trappings, much like a fine dining establishment or a new suit.

According to Adutoys readers, the following can transform a blowjob from "good" to "unforgettable":

"I get really attracted to someone who gives me head groans. When you realize that they are having as much fun as you are, it is unforgettable.
Movement of the tongue, eye contact, a lot of saliva, assurance, and zeal. Enjoying themselves makes it more enjoyable.
Possessing it. Being at ease not just with yourself but also with your abilities and standards, and letting the other ride along with you.
"There is definitely eye contact and filthy banter (e.g., "It's so large"; "I adore the way it feels in my mouth)."
"Unless you're jokingly viewing it as a challenge and communicating that, don't just try to go for an ASAP orgasm."

These are samples of what makes some individuals go during a blowjob, and you already know what I'm about to say. How can you effectively learn what motivates your partner? Baby, step one!

Step 10: Blowjob Sex Toys

In recent years, penises have seen significant advancements in sex toys. According to Graveris, the secret to integrating sex tech into your blowjob is "creativity and experimentation." His recommendations for adding pleasure items to fellatio are as follows:

According to Graveris, "using a vibrating cock ring is one popular choice." "Just place it on the base of the penis before lowering yourself, and allow the vibrations to give both partners an additional level of pleasure."

"The possibilities are deliciously enticing when it comes to incorporating stimulating gels or flavored lubricants into fellatio," Graves added. To make sure you select something that appeals to you both, start by talking about tastes and preferences with your significant other.

How do you maximize that delightful slickness? Graveris explained it plainly:

A tiny bit of the flavored lubricant or stimulating gel should be applied to your hands or straight onto your partner's penis during the act. The substance should then be spread and massaged with your hands, lips, or tongue to produce a satisfying feeling. Try a variety of methods, including soft licking or sucking, to get the most out of the encounter.

You can choose which lube is best for you, but I prefer the Sliquid range for flavored options.

I have some concepts of my own regarding blowjob sex toys, in addition to flavored lubes and cock rings. The following are my recommendations for gadgets that can mimic or enhance the sensation of a mouth on a penis:

KIIROO KEON

A portable sex machine that acts as a masturbation sleeve is the KIIROO KEON. It's cool.

Because this toy can actually do all the stroking for you, it's beneficial for blowjobs. Holding it in position will cause it to raise and descend onto the shaft by itself.

The KEON can take over and give your hands and mouth a rest if your blowjob becomes a marathon session.

Arcwave Ion

Is there a more iconic combination than air suction and stroking? I'll hold off.

The Arcwave Ion combines all of your favorite features of masturbation sleeves with the air pulse technology that Womanizer invented.

When the individual getting a blowjob enjoys potent, persistent frenulum stimulation, this enables you to target the Pacinian pleasure receptors in the frenulum more fiercely than your mouth may be able to.

Cobra Libre 2

The Fun Factory Cobra Libre 2 is your partner in action, even though the other two toys I listed are excellent for situations where you need to stop delivering your head but still want to feel the sensations. In other words, you can increase the blowjob ante by using it in conjunction with oral stimulation.

The Cobra Libre is essentially a penis vibrator that rests on the head of an erect penis to provide sensations. This allows your mouth to freely attack the perineum, testicles, and base of the shaft.

Step 11: Spit or Swallow?

The old question, ah.

It is entirely up to you whether or not you want your lover to ejaculate in your mouth. You could enjoy it so much that you want to do it repeatedly. You might detest it and wish to avoid doing it ever again. You may have no interest at all. The most important factor, though, is how you feel about having a mouth full of semen, so make sure to respect your requirements and bring up this issue in your Step One discussion.

Here are some considerations to make if you like to taste your partner's semen:

Precum and cum are different. The transparent liquid expelled from the penis before ejaculation is called cum, and the actual discharge is called cum. Although cum's texture can vary from lumpy and sticky to runny and slippery, anecdotal data indicates that cum tends to taste sweeter and have an oilier texture, whereas cum's taste is more impacted by a person's diet.
Ejaculation can be of varying forces. Some people can "shoot" cum from their penis quite a distance. Some only have a dribble coming from their cock. Be ready for either.
The amount of ejaculate will vary. A quarter to a teaspoon of ejaculate is typically expelled, according to the International Society for Sexual Medicine. This can fluctuate, though, just like everything else.
Just because you take your partner's ejaculation in your mouth doesn't mean you have to swallow it. Feel free to spit it out!

Here are some options for when your spouse is about to ejaculate if you don't want to have them finish in your mouth:

Move your mouth away from the meatus. The cum won't enter your mouth even if your mouth is still on the penis, such as the shaft, scrotum, or the opposite side of the head.
Close your lips, but keep them in contact with the meatus. Only your mouth's exterior will be coated by the ejaculate.
Lick the frenulum. Even though you might still get some sperm on your lips or in your mouth in this situation, it won't be as easy as taking the entire shot at once.
Aim somewhere else entirely. The ejaculation moment can be a powerful picture for certain people. If your partner is cumming on your face, chest, torso, or any other region of your body, and you feel OK with it, use your hand to stroke and point the load in a different direction.

Step 12: Blowjob Aftercare

In essence, aftercare refers to actions taken to ensure that everyone who has sex feels secure and taken care of afterward. And regardless of the sex act, it's crucial!

Adutoys readers have provided the following suggestions for spoiling your lover after BJ:

"A wet towel might be nice, depending on the outcome, and I'm a big cuddler."
"Wet wipes, cuddles, and maybe mouthwash as well."
"Snacks are fantastic."
"Napping, cuddling, and caressing."
"Cuddles and water are always pleasant, unless they are obviously the start of something more."

After delivering a blowjob, remember to take care of yourself in addition to your spouse. Get yourself a towel, some water, and a snack. You should also ask your lover if they would still love you if you become a worm.

Don't Leave Without Learning This:

Make these your two main takeaways from this article:

What constitutes a "great blowjob" is relative. Everybody's physique is different, even if some feelings tend to feel fantastic on most penises! To ensure that everyone has the most satisfying blowjob experience possible, communicate before, during, and after the blowjob.
Blowjobs aren't required for great sex. And if you don't enjoy giving or receiving them, you're not broken! Pleasure is the main goal of sex; therefore, if your current activity doesn't make you feel good, either psychologically or physically, keep trying until you do.

So, are you prepared to speak your mind that matters?