Aftercare

The act of providing immediate support and care for an intimate partner following sex or a BDSM scene is known as aftercare. Following any sexual act, such as oral sex, sex toy use, or vaginal or anal penetration, aftercare may take place.

Just as foreplay marks the beginning of intimate play, it marks the end of intimate playtime. All kinds of couples can have more fulfilling sex if they give themselves enough time for foreplay, sex, and aftercare.

Aftercare in BDSM

Aftercare in BDSM refers to the process of meeting the physical, emotional, and psychological needs of sexual partners following a BDSM scene.

Leading the aftercare and attending to the needs of their submissive partner or partners is usually the dominating partner in the action. Scenes from BDSM are frequently quite intense and can be physically, emotionally, and psychologically taxing. Dominants can check in with their submissives during aftercare to make sure they've enjoyed the scene. Additionally, it might assist a submissive who has entered subspace in getting back to their regular activities. Aftercare is crucial for dominants as well, even if it is frequently mentioned for submissives.

Everyone participating in a BDSM scene can regain equilibrium and be able to reintegrate into society by dedicating time to aftercare.

Here, it was usually necessary to negotiate in order to balance the requirements of all partners.

Sexual Aftercare

Sexual aftercare can be practiced by anybody having sex, even though it is typically connected with the BDSM community. Supporting sexual partners and increasing intimacy are the main goals of sexual aftercare, just like BDSM aftercare. But in sexual aftercare, both lovers prioritize helping and taking care of each other. Since those outside of the BDSM community (and not in D/s dynamics) typically have more equitable sexual experiences, it is not headed by a single individual. As the excitement of their encounter fades, they concentrate on maintaining their connection to one another. Similar to BDSM aftercare, those who engage in sexual aftercare may also follow up to make sure the experience was positive for everyone and discuss any concerns they may have about the sex.

More About Aftercare

By being transparent about their preferences and aftercare, people can negotiate aftercare that benefits all parties. Before getting physical, it's best to discuss aftercare since it gives people time to think clearly about what they like and don't like. After sex, they might talk about the things that provide them with a sense of security and caring.

Communication and Aftercare

Finding activities that both parties may agree on and feeling heard are crucial for sexual aftercare. Dominants should listen to their subordinates and ensure that they are the main focus of BDSM aftercare. Some submissives, for instance, would want to use this time to take care of themselves and be by themselves. A good dominant honors the desires of their subordinate. After sex or a scene, people can quickly move into aftercare if they have a clear idea of their favorite activities.

"It can be intimidating to express your needs, particularly if they clash with your partner's, but it's important that all interactions stay respectful and consensual," explained Natasha Marie Narkiewicz, a sexual wellness specialist and head of communications at MysteryVibe who is involved in the BDSM community. "If expressing your requirements verbally makes you anxious, write them down before a scene so your partner may read them, and you can discuss them later. Take some time to consider whether you and your partner can reach a mutually beneficial agreement if your needs are at odds. Otherwise, you might want to think again about taking part in that scene or activity with that specific person. We all have different requirements, and sometimes the dynamic isn't the best fit. That's okay, too. This isn't meant to be a criticism of either person.

The experience of aftercare is highly personal and might vary depending on the relationship. Typical aftercare tasks include the following:

• Discussing the encounter
• Hugging and caressing
• Planting a kiss
• Acknowledging a spouse, particularly one who is subservient
• Taking a bath or shower together
• Giving each other messages
• Rehydrating with water or soothing with tea
• Getting takeout or munching on your favorite cuisine
• Preventing urinary tract infections via urinating
• Listening to music or seeing a film
• Taking a group nap
• Spending time apart
• If having sex outside of a relationship, go on a date with a primary partner.

In addition to all of these, BDSM aftercare may involve cleaning up, getting an orgasm, comfort from the dominant, and attending to any physical injuries.

Why Aftercare Is Important

People can positively leave a sexual experience with the support of aftercare.

It guarantees that everyone feels taken care of and helps prevent a sudden hormonal collapse that could cause feelings of annoyance, bitterness, guilt, and loneliness. Those who participate in aftercare after having sex or experiencing a BDSM scene, on the other hand, are more likely to feel safe and appreciated by their partners. After having sex, those who receive proper aftercare feel as though their physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual needs are satisfied.

The likelihood of a sub-drop, or the crash that submissives may experience after leaving a BDSM scene, can usually be reduced with appropriate aftercare. An effective dominant anticipates the needs of their subordinates and is likely to have an aftercare kit on hand to provide everything they could need. This strategy isn't always perfect, though. When submissives aren't with their dominant, they may occasionally suffer delayed sub-drop hours or even days following a scene. If they take a break from their dominant after a scene, they could also experience sub-drop on their own. In these situations, taking care of oneself can assist a submissive in surviving the collision as it occurs. The dominant's frequent check-ins also help the submissive in overcoming a delayed sub drop.

Aftercare and Consent

Consent is essential for aftercare in any sexual acts. To begin this conversation, people can ask their partners how they should approach them after sex. The one starting the conversation may ask if they may do something specific that they like after sex if they appear to have different methods. This discussion allows for compromise and consent.