An Etiquette Guide for Sending and Receiving Nudes

Asking is the only way to find out what someone would genuinely like to see.

Exchanging sexy pictures can be delicate. Nudities must be received with caution as well as sent with care, as it can be pretty offensive to accept one without complete authorization. After all, there are several risks involved when someone decides to have an NSFW photo exchange: they are jeopardizing their privacy and exposing themselves to possible criticism.

Here's how to treat anyone you're sending nude photos to with the most respect, regardless of whether they're your long-term relationship or someone you recently met on Tinder.

1. Ask if they want to see your nudes.

As with in-person contacts, consent is necessary for digital interactions as well. Carol Queen, a sexologist on staff at Good Vibrations, explains that not everyone has the same sexual preferences, whether it's in bed or on their phone.

It is considered a sex act to send an erotic image. It can be interpreted as an unwanted assault, a stepping stone to anything more, or simply a passionate moment you shared, just like touch.

Thus, it's crucial to text the other person something like, "Are you in the mood for a sexy pic?" before sending a sext. Or "Do you want to see my ________?" asks Dr Jessica O'Reilly, a relationship and sex specialist who hosts the podcast Sex With Dr Jess. The only circumstance in which you might not have to do this is if you have both previously decided to trade nude photos regularly.

Before asking, "Should I send you hot pictures, or Nah?" the potential sender should consider whether they would desire this. "Have they indicated that it would be appreciated?" Queen asks. You should also consider whether you feel comfortable with this person having the picture."  Additionally, if you are the one being asked, don't feel obligated to comply. "Pay attention to your instincts if you have any reservations about the kind of picture being requested," advises Queen.

2. Ask your partner what they want to see.

Asking is the only way to find out what someone would genuinely like to see. After all, the terms "naked" and "sexy pic" can have a wide range of meanings for various people. Some people might see a picture of you in your panties, while others might see a photo of your entire dick.

"There are no hard-and-fast rules when it comes to sending nude photos, so discuss your preferences with your partner or partners so that what you send fits their expectations," advises O'Reilly. You may offer them alternatives, such as a close-up of a specific body area, you in your underpants, or any other imaginative concept you think of.

3. Make it fun for the receiver.

You can give back to someone who is gifting you their well-composed nude photos (or an audience for yours) by making an effort to create your own. Spacing out your photographs is one way to achieve this. O'Reilly advises against sending all of your information at once and against including close-ups of your genitalia. "Instead, you might want to take pictures of different body parts from different perspectives and send one picture at a time to reveal more details."

Decluttering your space and adjusting the lights, or even covering the light with a scarf to create an antique filter, are other ways to create a sensual atmosphere. (But don't forget to remove it afterwards! People, fire safety is crucial.

However, how you feel in the picture is more significant than how you appear. According to Queen, "Ground your sexiness in yourself." You don't have to try to mimic porn positions or expressions in order to be seductive, but it's acceptable to take inspiration for stance, lighting, etc. from other sensual photographs you've seen. It may even be worthwhile to develop a persona and portray it with clothing or props. According to Queen, "you're practicing creativity when you do this."

4. Keep their photos private.

According to Queen, you must protect someone's privacy if they provide you with an inappropriate picture of themselves. "In general, people don't send out their photos to be shared with others."

Without your partner's consent, never save a picture on your phone or share it with anybody else.

5. Protect your privacy as you wish.

According to O'Reilly, if you're worried about your pictures possibly being leaked, you can establish a rule that only shots taken from the neck down will reveal your identity. It might also be a good idea to store your pictures in a different folder so you don't unintentionally share them with other people.

6. Give appreciative feedback (if you are grateful).

Giving your lover a kind remark that shows you're into it can go a long way because sending a nude photo is a vulnerable act. O'Reilly advises being clear about what you enjoy about their body or the picture. Queen suggests requesting consent first by saying something like, "Do you want to hear what I find hot about this picture?" if you want to start a heated discussion about your desires with the person in the photograph.

"Please express your preference for a different type of photo without critiquing the one that was supplied to you. Of course, you have every right to inform the sender that you don't want to get sexts from them if the photo was not requested," Queen explains.

She continues, "Communication about sex can always be made sexy, even if it involves asking for consent, saying no, or stating barriers." "Contrary to popular belief, that material is sexy! It pushes you both to communicate what you're genuinely interested in, helps you discover your common ground, and makes the other person feel heard and seen.