An Expat's Take on BDSM in Japan

Although there is a lot of kink culture in Japan, American customs are very different from those in the Japanese community.

If you were anything like me when I first arrived in Japan ten years ago, you would definitely think that this is a reasonably kinky country. There are lots of maid cafés and tentacle porn!

After becoming active in Osaka's BDSM scene as a kinbaku model and then as a community lunch organizer, I observed some significant distinctions between the ways that BDSM is practised in my home state of California and here in Japan. If you're considering travelling to Nippon and experiencing all of its delicious kinky wickedness, there are a few things regarding BDSM that you might want to consider. For the good, the bad, and the ugly, I'm here to share.

The Good

A Rope-Lover's Paradise

Japan has a lot to offer rope bondage enthusiasts, being the birthplace of kinbaku. In large cities, those who want to learn how to tie and suspend can easily find classes taught by seasoned professionals.

If you're in Osaka and don't know enough Japanese to study with a native, contact my friend Milla Reika, a prominent player in the scene and an Australian kinbaku performance artist and instructor.

Submission as an Art

Japan highly values a rigid and well-defined social hierarchy. The D/s dynamics of Japanese corporate culture are governed by the same senpai-kohai framework that controls its internal operations. Furthermore, seeking harmony in one's relationships frequently trumps individualism.

As a result, the culture takes excellent satisfaction in the well-practised act of submitting. The goal of bottoming BDSM practitioners is to please.

Abundant Sexuality

Japanese people are renowned for their modesty and privacy. They do not, however, share the pervasive religious stigma around sex that we propagate in Western society.

The prevalence of kink-themed love motels and convenience store pornography are examples of Japan's long history of sexual acceptability. There are plenty of interesting sites for kinky sex lovers to discover in Japan, including soaplands and maid cafés.

Incredible Erotic Art

The lengthy history of excellent pornographic art in Japan begins with the Edo period, when shunga, a classic sexual woodblock printing technique, flourished.

If you enjoy BDSM-themed art as much as I do, Japan offers a wealth of creativity. For instance, take a look at the creations of Namio Harukawa, one of my favorite kinky Japanese painters.

The Bad

It's All About the Benjamins

Financial incentives primarily drive the Japanese BDSM scene. Events, munches, workshops, and BDSM-related businesses abound in my hometown of San Francisco, and they are either free to enter or quite affordable for participants.

In Japan, however, this is not the case. Attending a kinky show or a club where bondage is the main attraction is the best way to meet other kinksters.

Men must pay at least 7,000 yen (about USD 60) to enter, while women must pay 2,000 yen (about USD 17). Does that sound costly and sexist? You're right. And that doesn't include the price of drinks.

A Boozy Scene

Speaking of alcohol, Japanese culture views drinking significantly differently and is generally tolerant of what Westerners would consider drunkenness. Since bars make up a large portion of BDSM-themed venues in Japan, many patrons play while intoxicated. I've never witnessed staff handling or policing this.

This is clearly dangerous and uncommon at many kink-focused establishments in the United States. For example, San Francisco's Citadel Club does not offer alcohol or allow entry to anyone who even seems inebriated.

A Lack of Community

Finding the kind of unique support system that BDSMers require and have access to in many Western nations can be challenging, as the BDSM scene is primarily focused on money.

There was no such group in Kansai prior to my founding the BDSM Munch in Osaka in 2017. Though they have had expat-run restaurants there for at least the last five years, kinksters in Tokyo tell me that community support is also lacking up north.

The Ugly

Consent Issues

In Japan, there are a lot of hazardous, sexist, and highly outdated views about rape, sexual harassment, and consent. This also holds for the BDSM scene.

I have never heard Japanese individuals in the scene discuss topics like bargaining or safewords that are associated with BDSM best practices in the US. For those of us who support ethical kinks and wish to play safely, this is a serious conflict of interest because informed consent is essential to everything we do in BDSM.

Even while these negative perceptions are gradually shifting, kinky practitioners—especially submissives—need to exercise caution. Being aware of this circumstance and learning the Japanese language linked to permission may help you protect yourself if you want to play as a sub in Japan.

But I'll be honest: I, along with many of my kinky expat pals, now steer clear of the local BDSM community because of this.

A Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell Approach to Safety

Back in the United States, BDSM communities prioritize safety. It is simple to locate and attend BDSM classes covering topics ranging from safe bondage to whipping methods. A lot of BDSM clubs and event planners use personnel and Dungeon Monitors (DMs) to ensure that players are playing safely.

Although accidents and injuries sometimes occur, efforts are made and discussed openly to prevent them.

In Japan, it is more common to look the other way. According to Doctor Golden, a chiropractor and S&M practitioner in Tokyo, "Performers in the BDSM scene or professional dominatrixes don't want to talk about accidents." They have attempted to conceal their mishaps out of fear of losing credibility and trust if they are made public.

It's not quite kawaii.

I'm writing this to provide you with the information you need to make safe and informed decisions, not to discourage you from looking into BDSM in Japan.

No matter where you are, have fun and play safely as usual!