Bend Over, Babe: Pegging 101

Let's take a look back at the origins of the phrase before we go into how to try pegging using our professional anal advice and techniques.

Dr. Carol Queen, our excellent friend and excellent Vibrations Staff Sexologist, produced the instantly iconic sex-ed pornographic series Bend Over Boyfriend in 1998. She had no idea that three years later, in 2001, advice columnist Dan Savage would organize a competition for his readers to guess the identity of this fantastic deed. The name that won? Pegging, you guessed it! Following Queen's Bend Over Boyfriend, the runners-up were booing and punching for "kicking the ball to the other team." This was the proper decision.)

Since then, pegging has become increasingly popular, appearing in pop culture allusions (e.g., "Hello, Broad City") and even generating some celebrity attention, such as the notorious Met Gala ensemble that referenced fellow sex educator Luna Matatas' renowned slogan, "peg the patriarchy."

What is pegging?

Pegging is most typically used to depict a woman using a dildo and harness to penetrate a man anally, but it can be enjoyed by partners of any gender or sexual orientation; all you need is a strap-on and a partner who is prepared for this back-end fad.

However, when pegging is used in that situation, it can completely change popular beliefs about who does what during intercourse. In penetrative sex, the person who is often the "giver" becomes the "receiver," which is one of the reasons why some people find it so appealing.

Pegging is popular for a variety of reasons, such as switching up your typical roles in the bedroom to play dominance and power or just as an enjoyable way to engage in anal play and discover new ways to have sex with your partner!

Before jumping right into a peg session, there are a few things to consider if you're ready to strap it on and get started:

How to talk to your partner about pegging

To each their own! While many people enjoy anal play and penetration, not everyone is into it, which is fantastic! Discuss your desire to try pegging with your spouse first. Don't pull out the strap during sex; instead, spend some time talking outside the bedroom, where you won't feel pressured to do something you don't really want.

To begin, what appeals to you about pegging? Is it the prospect of altering the power dynamic that makes you want to strap it on? Is it the tactile examination of the prostate and booty that makes you want to stoop? Perhaps what's turning you on is just the idea of attempting something entirely different.

Discuss areas of agreement on these aspirations and establish your expectations for the potential format of your pegging session. In addition, if you have never attempted booty play before, you should discuss your level of physical comfort because it takes some time to get comfortable.

If you haven't already, this is a perfect time to start talking about your needs, wants, desires, boundaries, and preferences in bed.

Get the right gear for the rear.

Since pegging isn't only a body-to-body act, you'll need some rear gear to engage in this type of play.

Strap-ons

The strap-on, often known as a set that includes a dildo and harness, is a crucial component in pegging. Although there are pre-built kits available, such as these made with pegging in mind, many people choose to purchase their strap a la carte, which involves selecting a harness and dildo independently.

Harnesses

Make sure the harness you choose fits properly and stays in place on your body. You have better control over your new silicone appendage when the harness fits snugly and steadily. It may be more challenging to maintain control over your movements if your harness is loose because the dildo won't be held against your body as securely.

There are numerous varieties of harnesses, ranging from brief-style harnesses that slide on like a pair of underwear to jock-style harnesses with straps and buckles that may be adjusted. (Read more about how to choose one here!) You want to feel as attached to your strap-on as you can! The person wearing the strap should be the one to identify this if you know who they are.

Dildos

The dildo must have a flared base (one that is broader than the shaft) for pegging in order to be harness-compatible and anal-safe. If you want to target the prostate, curved dildos are fantastic. If the butt isn't a beginner, you could enjoy a dildo with some texture for added feeling. Or pick one with an integrated vibrator!

The person being penetrated should have a voice in size and what length and girth they wish to acquire (and take!), just as the giver is the primary person for choosing the harness.

Lube

Since lubricant is a necessary component for both anal play and toy use, it stands to reason that it would be crucial when the two are combined for an act like pegging. Lube reduces friction that could cause painful sex or damage, and its slickness makes for a much more enjoyable and comfortable experience. If your dildo is made of silicone, choose an oil-based or water-based lubrication (silicone toys and lubes are incompatible).

Pro tip: You can never have too much lubrication for anal play. As often as you like, reapply, particularly if stretching or friction begins to irritate.

Take your time and start slow.

The body needs time to warm up and become aroused during any penetrative play in order to prevent painful sex. This is especially true for anal play when it is crucial to relax those sphincter muscles, for example, by arousing them.

To ensure that the person on the receiving end, sometimes known as the bottom, has time to acclimate to the size and sensation of anal penetration, you should proceed slowly if you are both first-time peggers or peg-ees. You won't get from zero to dildo overnight!

Start simple, such as with your fingers or a starter toy, and work your way up while applying a ton of lubrication. Additionally, you want to give the giver, sometimes known as the top, enough time to become accustomed to wearing a harness and managing their motions. Don't stop communicating!

Check out our Booty Basics: Anal 101 blog post if this is your first time learning about anal generally. It will help you get started for safe and sexy play.

Keep communication open and flowing.

Yes, it's crucial to start the conversation about pegging outside the bedroom, but it also needs to continue after the fun has begun. You want to ensure that everyone is at ease and, of course, having fun and that consent is present at all times!

Throughout pegging play, both partners should check in often. From positions to depth to pace, the bottom may inform the top about what feels good and what doesn't. You can communicate through dirty language when the top checks in by asking questions like "Do you like that?" and "Do you want more?"

Additionally, communication isn't limited to romantic relationships; pay attention to what your body is telling you! Stop or pause if anything doesn't seem right, whether you're in pain, uncomfortable, or just not having fun. Examine what needs to be adjusted; you may need to change positions, apply more lubricant, proceed more slowly, or hang up the strap and try something else for the time being.

Also, pay attention to what feels good! In order to ride those feelings all the way to your O, make a note of what is working for you.

Get into position

The goal of pegging is pleasure, and specific sex positions can target orgasmic hotspots like the prostate while also promoting comfort, relaxation, and penetration.

Doggy Style

With their hips at the same height as their booty, the receiver is positioned behind them as they are on their hands and knees.

Either person can take the lead on rhythm or depth in this position, which also opens up the hips and makes it simple to spread the receiver's cheeks for easier access. The top can take the initiative by thrusting into the receiver, or the bottom can rock their body back against the dildo while balancing on their arms and knees.

Downward Doggy

The receiver bends at the torso in this variation of the doggy method, pressing their forearms and elbows against the bed rather than their hands.

In addition to offering all the advantages of doggy style, this position is an excellent angle for stimulating the prostate (P-spot) or G-spot. It is considerably simpler to aim the dildo at the front wall of the anus, where these hot regions are accessible when the bottom's torso is hunched over in this manner. Have your spouse prop themselves up on a sex positioning pillow or lean over a piece of furniture to provide additional support.

Lifted Missionary

For this face-to-face position, which is a variation of the traditional missionary position, a positioning pillow is essential for assisting in raising the hips.

If you want to experiment with pegging, you don't have to hit it from the rear. A positioning wedge or pillow is used by the lifted missionary to raise the receiver's hips, allowing access to the rear door. The receiver should place their butt just over the edge of the pillow's taller side. They can throw their legs over your shoulders to help aim for the P-spot or G-spot with each thrust, or you can face each other, which is fantastic for kissing and making some intense eye contact while you play.

Spooning

In spooning, both couples lie on their sides facing the same direction, with the recipient in front so their booty is rubbed up against their partner's hips. This posture is similar to the common snuggling position.

Spooning sex is excellent for shallower penetration and is frequently slow and sweet. This cuddling position can produce a great deal of comfort and pleasure because it allows access to the majority of the nerve endings in the anal canal and around the rim of the anus without having to penetrate much more profoundly. Pegging can be cozy, right?

Harness your pleasure

There are many more ways to position oneself for pegging; part of the fun is figuring out what works best for you and your partner.

So, buckle up and take advantage of this exciting opportunity to add anal play to your nightly routine if you're ready to enjoy the pleasures of pegging play!