Decorating Tips to Make Your Bedroom a Sanctuary for Sex

According to experts, your bedroom should be set apart for the two S's: sex and sleep. To get the most out of both, follow these suggestions.

The condition of your bedroom may or may not affect your level of arousal. Although it may not be important to you, it may be important to your partner or partners, which implies that it is important to you.

Although many sex experts refer to it differently, many ideas regarding sexual arousal center on the idea that our environment can affect our sex urges.

Sexual Arousal Theories

The Gas-And-Brake System

Dr. Emily Nagoski, a sexologist and the author of Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Change the Way You Sex Life, compares sexual excitement to an automobile's gas and brake system. Things that arouse you, such as wearing lingerie or having sexy thoughts, are the "gas" on the one hand. On the other hand, some elements lower your arousal, such as seeing filthy clothes, feeling uneasy wearing that apparel or feeling rough sheets on your skin.

The goal of bedroom décor, according to Dr. Nagoski's theory of arousal, is to maximize the gas items and decrease the braking things to increase your chances of having satisfying sex.

The Erotic Blueprint

Sex expert Jaiya offers an alternative viewpoint on arousal, focusing more on the own erotic blueprint.

Like the five Love Languages, the erotic blueprint theory postulates that every individual has a preferred path to effortless arousal but for sensual play. The "sensual" type, one of the five erotic pattern kinds, is a person who is excited by delighting their senses, such as the fragrance of sex, the sight of a clean bedroom, the feel of skin on theirs, or witnessing their partner partially naked. However, a person with a different erotic pattern can enjoy having sex on a pile of filthy garments since they aren't aroused by cleanliness!

(To be honest, I strongly advise investigating both theories! Both are excellent, and they have taught me a lot about my sexuality.)

The point is that, even if you're not aware of it, the condition of your bedroom can have a significant impact on many people's sex urges. You might not be conscious that your sex drive is being hampered by unclean laundry heaps or searching through your underwear drawer for a vibrator, but it could still be the case—your other "gas" options can outperform it.

What is a person to do, then? How do you go about making the bedroom a haven for sleep and sex as it should be? Let's discuss some typical (and uncommon!) recommendations:

Remove All To-Dos

Do you envision your bedroom as a joyful space where you may sleep and have sex? Or do you see stacks of items that serve as a reminder of everything that needs to be done?

In other words, clearing up all the different "to-do" piles is the first step in creating a sex haven in your bedroom. This could entail relocating the heaps into a different room, but it could also mean starting with them when you go on your next cleaning binge.

Throw away any unfinished crafts you've been meaning to do on the bedside table and put them in the living room so they are out of sight in the bedroom. Think "Oh, I should really be doing that craft project" while your lover takes off your clothes. That's the last thing you want.

Our brains are complex, tiny machines, even if you're not aware of it. Activity specialists advise keeping your exercise sneakers visible by the front door for a reason: You are reminded and motivated to exercise when you see your shoes.

You may not realize it, but our brains are intricate little devices. You are reminded and inspired to work out when you see your exercise sneakers, which is why activity gurus recommend keeping them at the front door.

Don't Work in the Bedroom

Nowadays, remote work is the most common arrangement in many businesses. However, make sure you're not working from bed if you're working from home.

For what reason? Consider how your mind responds to the sight of a workspace if you have ever worked somewhere other than your home. Do you think, "That's my favorite food," or the next time you have to report to work when you see the restaurant where you wait tables?

Your bed may be no different. You might only be able to think about your next deadline when you gaze at your new de facto workplace space if you're working in bed for 40 or more hours every week. This is bad for your sexual desire in addition to being bad for your real sleep. Even if the thought of having sex at work excites you, you generally won't be interested in doing it when the office doubles as your bed.

Another motivation to get your work out of bed is this: It's terrible for your back and body to spend hours each day lying in bed using a laptop. (Hear it from someone who spent a year doing it before understanding the repercussions.) Opt for a secondary office space instead, ideally equipped with an ergonomic setup and a comfortable chair, and enjoy the advantages of both sexual and sleeping.

I am aware that room is limited if you live in a very small flat (studio apartment people, unite!). If so, try to put up a little workstation in the bedroom corner (some desks fold up when you're done!) and try to avoid working from bed whenever you can.

For those who are often on the go, this also applies to cell phones. Make sure any work-related cell phone use stops as soon as you enter the bedroom from the restroom if you must browse through your phone at night.

However, experts have been telling us for ages that it's better to avoid using your phone in bed. (I doubt I'll be able to follow that rule in the near future.)

Incorporate Mood Lighting

What kind of lighting does your bedroom have? It's understandable why it's difficult to see your bedroom as a sexual haven if there's only one LED light hanging overhead. The grocery shop isn't quite as sexy as that. (However, cucumbers are available at the supermarket.)

Well-lit spaces are essential for daily tasks, such as doing laundry, but for most people, they are the opposite of sexy. It can be challenging to concentrate solely on the sexy items on the bed because it not only creates sharp, obvious shadows but also reveals every nook and cranny of the bedroom. Rather, you are rewarded with the sight of the trash can in the corner.

Fortunately, during the past ten years, "fixing" this has become considerably simpler. With just a lamp and an app-controlled dimmer lightbulb, you can create some incredibly lovely mood lighting without having to install a dimmer switch. If your house has smart home features, you can instruct your home assistant to lower your lighting. Otherwise, the dimming feature of many of these lightbulbs is controlled via an app.

Are you uninterested in smart home technology? The old-fashioned method of setting up mood lighting involves carefully placing your lightbulbs, lamp shades, and intensity to create the desired effect.

Stronger lightbulbs cast more light, and you can adjust the light's final destination by adjusting the height of the lamps and the thickness of the lampshade. Just be sure to choose lightbulbs that complement your sensual personality the most—those environmentally friendly LEDs may be rather taxing on the head!

For extra credit, customize the lighting to meet your needs and those of your partner if you have one. Would it be simpler to overlook some of the less appetizing aspects of the bedroom if the lighting was limited to the bed? Strive for that. Are you attracted to multicolored lights because they give you the impression that you're at a sex club? Examine bulbs that can cast red, blue, and green hues.

Make the most of your bedroom. There are no rules regarding lightbulbs.

(Pro tip: You can improve your mood, wind down for the evening, and sleep quality by using dimmer lighting. They are mutually beneficial.

Get a Lock on the Door

For real.

You should have a lock on your bedroom door if you reside with other people, even if they are not related to you and are two feet tall. Setting limits for your roommates is a good idea, but it's even more crucial to know that you get privacy when you (and your partner, if you have one) want to have sex.

Nothing is less thrilling than thinking all the time that someone is going to catch you, especially if that person isn't your kink.

If the perpetrators are old enough to comprehend simple instructions, it's appropriate to discuss what it means when a door is closed and how we should knock first to respect people's privacy.

Ensure You Have the Sex Props You Need

Your "sex area" can be characterized by all of the sexual "equipment" in it, just like your workout space is defined by the inclusion of weightlifting equipment, fans, and/or a yoga mat.

This can be as easy as concealing a sex-positioning from beneath the bed, depending on your available space and level of subtlety. Alternatively, you might buy something more significant, like a Liberator Esse Chaise, which doubles as a permanently accessible bondage station.

In any event, your goals for your sex furniture should guide the selection of sex props you make: Do you require a complete piece of furniture or just a simple hip elevation to express your creativity?

You also don't need to have big sex accessories. An over-the-door sex swing or a sex sling that may be wrapped around the ankles to support the legs are two options you may want to think about. You could put both of those in a little box and tuck them under the bed. However, those are also great additions to the bedroom if sex machines are appealing to you.

Selecting furniture that transforms your bedroom into a haven for sex is crucial. Select gadgets that increase the enjoyment, accessibility, and excitement of having sex.

Keep Your Sex Items Accessible

Having sexual instruments in the bedroom is not enough; you also need to have them close at hand. When you consider using your favorite dildo, you will put it off if it is kept in six boxes. (No one wants to have to rearrange the bedroom in order to get a dildo.)

For your sex toys, this may need rearranging (and possibly buying furniture like end tables!), but it's okay! No one is asking you to keep your lubricants, handcuffs, sex toys, and sex furniture on display, but if you want the scene to make you feel attracted as soon as you see your bedroom, make sure your brain is aware that this is where all of the sensual, orgasmic things take place.

Additionally, keep in mind that a shoebox beneath the bed or a zippered toy pouch might both be ideal for storing your sex toys. No matter what "accessible" means to you, they must be readily available.

Get Bedding That Makes You Feel Sexy

Why did you select your current bedding? Was it because it complemented a particular room's design or because it was on sale and you couldn't resist a good deal? Do you feel sexy in your bedding?

If so, you did a fantastic job. Go ahead and get $200.

But why not make a change if not? Nothing is stopping you. If you value having coherent bedroom decor, consider simply switching out your linens to a color or fabric that feels more sexual to you. This will enable you to add more of a personal touch while maintaining the general aesthetic of your bedroom with your blanket or comforter.

Sex blankets like the Liberator Throw are an option if the thought of completely replacing your bedding and/or blankets seems daunting. Tossing the Throw over your unexciting bedding will instantly transform your bed into a sex-friendly space, while it's not quite as successful as making the entire bed feel like the ideal setting for sex.

Recall that a significant portion of our senses are touch and sensation. It feels so much better to relax your sensitive, nude skin on luscious, soft surfaces than it does to lie nude against scratchy cotton sheets.

Curate a House of Mirrors

Are you attracted to the thought of seeing yourself engage in sexual activity?

If so, place mirrors in strategic locations around the bed so you can observe yourself. No one will give these new additions much thought because it's expected to view your #OOTD and cosmetics in the bedroom. (Unless, of course, you have your mirrors hanging on the ceiling above the bed. Hey, we won't pass judgment!

If you lack the space to install a mirror, get a cheap over-the-door mirror designed for college residence halls. These are often under $20 and extremely thin. When you want a crowd (of yourself), you may draw it out of the closet and lean it against the wall. When you're done with it, you can slip it back into the closet. (As a bonus, it's beneficial for observing fashion decisions.)

Think about rearranging your bedroom so that any mirrors are distant from the bed if the thought of looking in a mirror during intercourse seems like the biggest turn-off you can think of. Despite self-confidence lectures, your brain isn't staying in a sexy space if you're scared to stare at a particular spot in the bedroom or to be in certain poses for fear of seeing your reflection.

Add Easy Bondage—If That's Your Jam

Do you find bondage interesting? If so, take into account a system of under-the-bed bondage.

Although the word "bondage system" almost suggests something complex, one of the simplest ways to experiment with bondage is with a basic under-the-bed system, which is also ideal for the bed.

As you can see, the Under-the-Bed Restraint System has strap webbing that rests beneath the mattress. These straps remain in place once the mattress is placed on top of them, but their tips protrude. The person lying on the bed is restrained by these tips, which have a bondage cuff on the end. The straps underneath the bedding remain in place because of the weight of the person on the bed.

Under-the-bed restraint Systems are ideal for a traditional Spread Eagle bondage position or more inventive sex positions that employ even more bondage points because they often have four or six bondage points!

In any case, this strap webbing can remain beneath the bed all day and all night. No one will notice if you simply tuck the handcuffs back beneath the mattress when you're finished.

This implies that you are always aware that your possibilities for bondage are always accessible. No one else is aware of it, like an erotic secret!

Bonus tip: If you're starting with bondage, an under-the-bed system can also be a fantastic option. It's simple to secure your wrists or ankles to the bed. You can easily stretch (or shorten) the straps to the point where they are binding but yet comfortable to remove from yourself because most systems allow for strap adjustment.

Keep Kink Items Accessible

What is your kink, and do you frequently engage in it in your bedroom alone?

If so, make accommodations for it when transforming your bedroom into a haven for sex. Like your sex toy and sex furniture, your kink equipment should be conveniently available when lying in your preferred bedroom areas.

If you have a tickling kink, keep your tickling equipment in the bedroom in a convenient location. Do you enjoy playing with pets? Make sure your favorite tail and ears are within easy reach of where you sleep. Is it love-spanking?

Place your impact toys in the ideal location. If you like a lot of wet and dirty play, you should definitely keep your Liberator Throw handy here so you can quickly wipe up your sensual mess.

Plan for After-Sex Clean-Up

As you continue to redesign your bedroom, hopefully, you'll find that you're having more and more sex there.

However, this also entails additional cleanup after sex. While you're redesigning, remember to keep that in mind!

Installing a tiny trash can for spent condoms, dental dams, or other safer sex products next to your bed may be one way to achieve this. It can entail keeping lubes and wet wipes or cleaning solutions for sex toys on the bedside table. To make cleaning up after sex easier, you might place some washcloths next to your bed or keep a Liberator Throw nearby to minimize any damp areas.

Surprisingly, cleaning up after sex also entails making sure you have a pleasant area for hand-washing exclusively. If you want to wear more delicate lingerie in the bedroom, having a place to put it after usage can make doing the laundry more manageable and make wearing it again later less of a headache.

You can increase your desire for sex by lowering some of your mental barriers around the "results" of sex by making plans for after-sex clean-up. All of it is an excellent cyclical system!

Conclusion

Whether you are aware of it or not, your bedroom's condition and arrangement might have an impact on how aroused—or not—you feel when using it.

However, you may turn your sleeping area into a legitimate sexual haven by using these easy tips. Additionally, your libido will like it.