How to have hot phone sex 101

Phone sex is one of the least used methods of arousal, according to sexologist Rebecca Alvarez Story. Romancing the ears isn't always what we think of when we think of being sexy.

"The sound of someone's voice and moans can be seriously arousing," she adds.

Furthermore, even though your partner's hands, tongue, or hot body might not be readily available, your own hands, toys, and imagination are all within reach if you so choose!

Perhaps your significant other travels frequently for work, or maybe you're in the urge to romance your newest Tinder crush from the comfort of your own home, or perhaps you're in a long-distance relationship and want to keep things exciting. Hell, perhaps you simply like calling your lover while they're at work in an improper but acceptable way. You don't need an excuse to investigate every possible source of arousal that comes up.

Naturally, the idea of having sex over the phone may make you shudder, but don't judge before you try! While it's true that we have a lot of tools these days, like Zoom, FaceTime, Skype, and so on, it's sometimes even more fascinating to use your imagination.

Here are some pointers to get you going!

1. Ask for consent

Asking for consent is something you should do every single time. If it's something you and your partner have never done before, you may introduce the idea to them casually or, if that's more comfortable, by text. You might ask them why they seem uncomfortable with the notion. Video is preferable because they might feel more at ease with visual signals. Or perhaps they are simply timid. Instead, it might be simpler to begin sexting and then progressively get more at ease (and arousing) with the concept. Additionally, it never hurts to ask your significant other beforehand to see if they're feeling romantically inclined before surprising them with a phone sex date if it's already standard procedure in your relationship. In addition, the best foreplay is anticipation.

2. Strengthen your vocab

Using active verbs such as suck, twist, stroke, tickle, pull, thrust, lick, and caress makes phone sex much more enjoyable. Perhaps you don't need to work on your vocabulary. However, if you think you may use some help with language, think about reading or viewing porn or erotica to put yourself in a more sensual frame of mind. This will clarify what kind of conversation makes you feel attracted and make you think of many evil ways to utilize your words. It's always a good idea to ask your partner what kinds of language turn them on (versus turn them off), such as what words they prefer to use when discussing their genitalia, even if you and your partner have never had any dirty talk. You should also feel free to express your personal preferences while you're at it. This is intended to be hot for everyone, after all!

3. Set the mood

You should make every effort to feel seductive and in the zone, even if you're not creating the conditions for a visual visitation. This may involve lighting candles or incense and/or dressing in sensual clothing, such as sweatpants or expensive lingerie. Your voice will sound "nam sayin" while you're feeling sexy. If you organize the session beforehand, your spouse may want to join you in embracing the ambience.

4. Get creative

The most often given advice, "show, don't tell," applies here if you've ever attended a creative writing course. Although everything you say will technically be "telling," the goal is to "show" by being as detailed as you can. There is no more excellent way to experience the sensory, visceral reality of the flesh. Your partner's (and your own) imagination will be stimulated more by the more details you record. As you do it, tell yourself what you're doing. Inquire about their attire, activities, thoughts from their most recent masturbation, preferred methods of contact, and preferred placement of your hands and tongue.

Additionally, phone sex can be used to explore fantasies that you know you wouldn't want to try in person but that thrill you in theory (double or triple penetration). Don't hurry in anything you do. Like in-person sex, phone sex is best enjoyed slowly. Hot tip: When in doubt, whisper. If you say it slowly, almost anything may sound sensual.

5. Touch yourself

Touch yourself, please. In the end, hot phone sex usually consists of a mutual experience of simultaneous talking and masturbation. Touching yourself will keep you engaged and in the moment, so don't be afraid to do it. Bring your toy and let your partner know if you want to use it. You don't need to worry about losing the topic of the conversation because you're so excited. This conversation involves every sound you make and every breath you take. Tell your partner, "I'm gonna cum," or whatever term you want, if you sense yourself on the verge of climaxing. Since hearing your orgasm is likely one of the most titillating experiences they could ever have, chances are this will help them get there as well.

6. Have a sense of humour

Phone sex might feel quite awkward and a bit (or a lot) corny if you're not used to chatting nasty. However, try your hardest to accept it and don't be scared to laugh at yourself. You can tell you're comfortable with each other and enjoying yourself if you're laughing. It doesn't imply that you're not in the right place. But really, laughing during intercourse never indicates that. Why not embrace happiness?