Inside the World of Pet Play

The main goals of the pet play dynamic are exploring dominance and submission, escaping reality, and having a little fun.

Although the specifics of pet play, a type of roleplaying in which at least one player assumes the role of an animal, are still stigmatized, there is evidence that this kink is becoming more and more common. The simplest explanation is that dressed and acting like an animal is nothing new. Going to a Halloween party might be as easy as pie. But for veteran pet play aficionado Erik Freudenberg, better known to his fans as Pup Kiva, pet play has given him a hitherto unheard-of outlet for unrestrained sexual expression.

Kiva can be molded into anything I desire. Freudenberg, who was first drawn to the vibrant world of furry fandom before realizing he linked more to the kinkier world of pet play and BDSM, says, "I used that as an opportunity to admit to myself that I'm gay." "I was able to express my LGBT feelings through Kiva finally. Since coming out, I've never been happier, and adopting the puppy persona was crucial to achieving that contentment.

There are many reasons why individuals gravitate toward pet play, and there are even more ways to engage in it, such as giving D/S relationships an exciting new dimension, serving as a seductive sexual outlet, or offering a way to escape from your everyday identity. This is a close-up look at the world of pet play from the people who make it a part of their lives, whether you're new to the area or an experienced pet owner hoping to learn a bit more. (That is, right out of the pony's mouth!)

The Basics of Pet Play

The origins of pet play are the subject of several culturally relevant ideas. Since dressing as animals explores themes of power, submission, and humiliation through scenes involving training, riding, or disciplining a pet, it is evident that BDSM practitioners were drawn to this practice throughout the 20th century. Since wearing a leather mask, harness, or collar is standard for leather play, pet play also has strong roots in BDSM leather culture, especially in the LGBT community. Naturally, it's crucial to remember that, even if homosexual men make up a sizable portion of the pet play community, this experience is genuinely for everyone, regardless of how much you intend to participate.

There are undoubtedly similarities between pet players and the furriers that initially attracted Freudenberg's attention, but they are also very different. Anthropomorphic animal creatures with human-like personalities are popular among furry fans. That goes even closer to the sexual with a furry obsession. Pet play, which is more frequently linked to sexual role play, is included in the BDSM.

Although the majority of people in the community participate in pet play as a kink, pet play is really about discovering and accepting your inner animal. In fact, 90% of those who like pup play engage in sexual activity, per a study by Langdridge and Lawson. Freudenberg responds that if asked what he would like people to know about pet play, he would stress that this obsession has nothing to do with zoophilia.

"I can't stress it enough, and I get this way from people who don't know it," he remarked.

Refining Your Pet Persona

Freudenberg started off playing with a pony, but he has been part of the pet play culture since 2021.

He explains, "It was easiest for me to get into the headspace of a puppy because I felt like I could relate most to the puppy-to-human and puppy-to-puppy dynamic."

While there are many reasons why people choose the animal they roleplay—kittens or puppies because they feel the most familiar, ponies because they have the service element of pulling a cart—if pet or animal play is something you're interested in, there is no set pattern or rhyme to whatever animal you feel the most connected to. Developing your animal character can be cathartic if you try several roles, such as fox, pup, pony, or more, and see what feels right.

There is a lot to talk about in terms of equipment if you think that experimentation consists of donning ears or a butt plug with a tail attached. Freudenberg asserts, however, that you can access your animal side without all the glitz and glamour.

"The essence of pet play is not fetishistic equipment," he stated. "I used to worry that my equipment wouldn't be sufficient to participate in the community, but I've come to realize that even wearing just a chain and a dog tag can serve as a catalyst to enter the right mindset."

You only need a basic grasp of what you hope to gain from your experience in order to begin incorporating pet play into your daily life. One study by Langdridge and Lawson found that people engage in pet play for a variety of reasons, including self-expression, relaxation treatment, sexual pleasure, and fostering relationships. What, then, gives you the ability to express yourself as an animal? When you have sex, do you want it to play a significant role in the foreplay experience? Do you want to own something or be owned? Do you want to share this pleasure with others, or does the thought of engaging in pet play alone make you happier?

There is no right or incorrect response. Just begin by practicing the physical aspects of changing into the animal of your choice. They may meow or bark as you expect. Learn about your boundaries, comfort zone, and interests. If you and your partner are going to enjoy the D/s element of pet play, keep in mind that communication is essential to making sure that everyone's preferences and boundaries are recognized and honored during the activity.

Regardless of the method you use, cultivating a unique animal personality and becoming familiar with that alter ego can improve your pet's play experience. If you've been practicing for a while and want to learn more about the field, spend some time writing down your responses to the following questions:

• Name: Typically, your pet's name differs from your given name.
• Species: Think about the animal species that most appeal to you.
• Color: Identifying the appearance of your puppy or kitten self will significantly aid in putting you in the scene's mindset. It also helps with gear selection.
• Characteristics: Are you naughty or mischievous? Sweet or sassy? Friendly or aloof? Understanding your pet's regular behavior might add a unique touch to your pet persona and spice up your roleplay.
• Role: It's helpful to know how you fit into groups, such as if you're an alpha or beta if you intend to pet-play with others.

Pet Play In Practice

Everyone will have a different idea of what roleplaying as your preferred animal looks like. Since she has worked with innumerable practitioners who like to be disciplined, trained or handled like a domestic animal, professional and lifestyle dominatrix Aviva Diamond is the best person to understand this.

She tells Kindly that "submissive who enjoy training and protocol will love playing with puppies and ponies." She frequently utilizes her subs for service acts like fetch, educates them on desired behaviors, and teaches them tricks.

"I find that many pet play subs also take pleasure in humiliation and degradation because pet play is extremely dehumanizing."

If humiliation is a part of your play, whether you're the owner or a pet, it can be very thrilling to have your puppy hump your leg or ride your sub like a pony. Additionally, Diamond suggests that you encourage your pet to engage in sensory play by having them sniff different body parts in a manner similar to that of an actual animal.

Although Diamond claims that many of her clients identify as puppies, she doesn't work with many kittens because of their spoiled behavior, which doesn't exactly fit with her fetishes.

"Bratty bottom subs who want to adopt a cat's manner and would rather be spoiled and cared for as an owned pet than be used as a servant to their owner will benefit from kitten play," she says.

Ideas for a Pet Play Scene

Diamond gave the following explanation when asked how she would typically carry out a pet play scene:

Start With a Ritual

The submissive should begin by stripping naked, kneeling, and kissing the owner's feet or any other custom you choose. According to her, "a ritual like this lends itself easily to starting a pet play scene." The pet may reach subspace more rapidly if the scene starts with a firm act of submission.

Set the Scene

To bring the scene to life, Diamond prefers to have specific props available. This could contain a leash and collar, food and water bowls for dogs or cats, puppy pads, an animal cage, toys and treats, and more. She will use a saddle and a riding crop when working with a pony. Naturally, you may use belts or regular kitchen bowls as leashes if your roleplaying dynamic doesn't call for ornate equipment or decorations.

Set Boundaries

Decide as a group what behaviors are typical. Prior to any BDSM scene, it's critical to work together to determine what each party is comfortable with and what limits should be upheld during play. Discuss in advance the norms or conduct that will be expected of your pet play. Will the submitting party be permitted to wear any clothes, for instance? Is it expected of them to stay on their hands and knees? "Unless they use a safe word to slow down or end a scene, my subs only make animal noises as a response because I don't want them talking when they're acting like my pet," Diamond stated.

Try Dirty Talk

For everyone involved, dirty banter can make the scenario more realistic. Diamond uses compliments like "good boy," "good girl," "what a good puppy," and more to reward good behavior. These compliments are similar to how you may treat a real pet. She verbally humiliates her subordinates as well. Consider the phrases "no dogs on the bed, stay down there on the floor," "lick the food off the floor," or "you're just a filthy dog."

Consider a Training Objective

A crucial component of pet play for BDSM is teaching and rewarding. To make the training component come to life, Diamond suggests employing a particular incentive, like an orgasm.

Getting Involved With The Pet Play Community

The first step in getting to know the pet play community is realizing that it benefits everyone. When speaking to pet owners in the area, both new and seasoned, Ryan Warn from Puppy Play Expert tries to stress this point.

"People of any gender, sexual orientation, identity, or age are welcomed with open arms in our community, which takes pride in its inclusivity and open-mindedness," he said.

It can be intimidating to take the first steps when you're interested in pet play and want to contact local pet owners and pets. Warn said there are easy ways to participate, though.

"To start, we advise getting involved in the online community," he explains. You can join active pup play groups on Facebook in many places to be informed about future events and get-togethers. It's a great approach to starting to form relationships and meet other local puppies.

Another great choice, particularly for newcomers, is to look for regular dog meets at nearby bars. According to Warn, these gatherings are frequently led by seasoned handlers or pups who are quite hospitable to newcomers, regardless of skill level.

Are you looking for a long-term pet playmate and already well-liked in the area? Online communities could be your greatest buddy once more. If you're trying to find people who share your interests, Warn says applications like Facebook, Pup Space, and Grindr can be great tools.

Meeting together in person is the next step after you've established a connection with possible playmates. To get to know one another, this get-together can take many different forms, such as getting coffee together, setting up a play date for the dog, or just taking a stroll in the park, Warn said. It is similar to vanilla dating in this regard. "Whether you're in pup mode or not, the most important thing is that you feel at ease around your potential playmate."

Overall, you can anticipate a lively and friendly pet play community. People congregate there in order to discover new aspects of themselves. Engaging in pet play allows you to escape the stresses of daily life and develop a persona that is all about having fun and being creative. It's a path of self-discovery, and according to Warn, many people in the community are willing to try new things and defy social expectations.

"If you're wondering what to anticipate at a convention or event, picture a room full with amiable (pup) faces, lots of fun pup moshes, and a sincere desire to interact and share knowledge. It's a place where you can embrace the special realm of pet play and be who you really are," he says.

Procuring Your Pet Play Toys

Warn advises starting with a hood if you're starting with pet play.

Wearing a hood and staring at oneself in the mirror might be a potent method to shift into that mindset, according to Warn. "Seeing yourself with a bop-able nose or cute ears serves as a reminder that you are escaping the stresses of the real world."

Think of wearing some lacey lingerie that fits your persona or a latex bodysuit to go with your hood. It may be simpler to accept your pet identity if you cover your entire body with gear, regardless of whether you're drawn to tight-fitting clothing or furry items that make you feel more animal-like.

Do you want to thoroughly examine the D/s side of puppy play with a companion? Follow Diamond's lead and look at impact play props, leashes and harnesses, or toys that turn your bedroom into a puppy's paradise. In the end, creating a sex toy cabinet is all about what colors the roleplaying game is for you.

"We advise looking into local gear makers or custom pieces on platforms like Etsy if you're an experienced pet looking to take things to the next level," Warn explains. "This enables you to design a set of gear that precisely embodies your distinct pup identity."

Going the bespoke route allows you to express your unique style and build a collection of things that really appeal to your inner pet, whether it's personalized hoods, suits, or accessories.

The Bottom Line

To participate in the fun that is happening among pet play practitioners in your region or to have a gratifying D/s session with your handler, you don't always need a complex array of props. Like Pup Kiva, pet play is ultimately about letting go of inhibitions and discovering a unique way to express oneself. It involves giving up control in order to enjoy thrilling sexual encounters.

Warn confirms that you can anticipate "a warm and friendly atmosphere where people are playful and open to connecting with others" in the pet-playing-focused group.

He tells Kindly, "You'll see pup packs forming there, which are like close-knit groups of pup friends." "There is a great exchange of knowledge and experiences among the various roles within the pet play community, and people love to share tips and tricks."