Let's talk about blowjobs…and your gag reflex.

True story: I once gave my first boyfriend head and completely puked on his cock. It was extremely dark and the lights were off, which was a small relief, but I had to tell him, of course. Indeed, he wasn't the most perceptive person. After that occurrence, I was so appalled that I made sure it didn't happen again. I've given a lot of partners blowjobs over the years, many of them nice and deep. Although my gag reflex was completely engaged on a few of those occasions, I never had vomiting again since I am aware of my boundaries and will always draw back or take a break if it reaches that stage.

The truth is that sucking cock isn't always simple. To begin with, they, along with the guys attached to them, vary in size, shape, and flavor. Keep in mind that if you gag when descending on your partner, you'll have a normal reaction to having a phallus in your mouth and possibly down your throat. We all have varying degrees of tolerance, and you know what? These levels may fluctuate daily or even between partners. One day you might be able to take it down your cute little throat, but the next day you might choke at the first hint of a cock touching your tongue. It depends on many things, such as your position, your mood, how excited you are already, and a lot more.

Popular porn likely has little to do with the fact that many men will find it attractive if you gag on their cock. I know I'm not the only girl who feels this way because the sound has even turned me on and made me gag. As long as no one is injured, it doesn't make some things attractive to us. Desire is not always explicable, and nothing is pure.

Ultimately, the gag reflex is good—it keeps you from choking! Although giving in is unmissable, several shanties help you become more at ease with it while still honoring your boundaries and preferences.

Never give a blowjob unless you want to

First rule. This ought to be very clear, but sadly, it's not always the case, is it? Some spouses use that coercion and pressure. That's never even somewhat acceptable. You are under no obligation to perform any specific sex act on your spouse, including blowjobs, even if your partner feels entitled to them. Every time you have sex, you don't have to suck his cock. There is no need for you to suck cock. Additionally, you never have to push yourself past your breaking point if you decide to suck cock.

Practice on a dildo

...or your fingers, or a cucumber. There are several strategies you can attempt if you're determined to gag less frequently, such as practicing on an inanimate object under no pressure. Just stick a finger or fingers (clean!) into your mouth and see how far you can go before your gag reaction kicks in. For as long as you can, keep your finger or fingers in that position. Pay attention to your breathing. You can incorporate some back-and-forth motions to advance your practice session once you become accustomed to the feeling. Hot tip: don't stress over maintaining a tight lip-lock with his cock. Your throat becomes more open if you allow your lips to drop open.

Learn to breathe

Although it may not seem like it requires instruction, breathing is a necessary skill for both blowjobs and daily living. We may all breathe in one manner or another, but the key is to breathe correctly. It's crucial to breathe in and out through your nose when giving head in order to avoid gagging and to lessen any worry you might be feeling about choking or vomiting. Simply take a breath.

Understand that deep-throating is not the gold standard.

There's no need to try to mimic the blow jobs you see in mainstream porn, even if I completely understand the demands. Because no other type of blowjob is ever shown in the porn you watch, you may believe that deep-throating is the only worthwhile option. The majority of women are unable to perform deep-throat sex, whether they practice or not. However, this is not a problem because there are still ways to provide your lover with a mind that's oral sex.

Don't be afraid to use your hands—it's not a cop-out.

Speaking of alternative methods, it can be quite delicious for you both to enjoy your partner with both your lips and your hand or hands. It doesn't follow that "no hands!" is better just because certain porn jerks believe it to be so. Use a hand (or two) to control how deeply he penetrates, and try focusing your mouth and tongue on the most sensitive area of his cock—the head. Bonus: he will simultaneously get additional stimulating sensations from this. Use your spit to get everything nice and wet, then move your mouth in time with him. If he's down, you could even go a step further and attempt playing with his balls, taint, or anus with your fingers. He'll go crazy, I'm ready to wager.

Try new positions

Personally, I prefer to lie on my bed with my head slightly over the side when I'm feeling very aggressive. Your throat will be straighter and simpler to penetrate in this position. After that, my partner can approach me from behind and carefully insert his penis into my mouth. In that posture, I can't really fight it, and I'm at ease enough to allow it to enter me, which makes it delightful. However, keep in mind that you do have less power in this role, therefore communication and trust are even more crucial while experimenting.

Take it slow

The mainstream porn, once more. A good blow job, you would think, is one that happens quickly and involves a lot of aggressive head bobbing. But, my friends, that's a surefire invitation to gagsville. Reduce the amount of head movement and increase the amount of time you spend kissing, stroking, licking, and sucking.

Less really is more at times.

The bottom line is that having solid communication with your boyfriend, partner, or fling is essential to performing a great blow job, just like having great sex. Once you master it, the rest will come naturally. I advise discussing it with your partner if the idea of gagging scares you or if you're suffering from blowjob fear in general. Communication will be intimate, grounding, and even humorous if he's the proper person for you. About that, try to handle the situation humorously rather than frantically if you do wind up gagging or throwing up. If your partner has a similar reaction, hopefully, you can clean up and resume your activities as quickly as possible.