Men Explain Why Wearing a Chastity Cage Turns Them on
The word "chastity" most likely conjures up images of the Middle Ages, when men would allegedly make their wives or daughters wear metal cages to protect their "virtue." Indeed, scholars are substantially divided regarding the prevalence of chastity devices during this time or even their existence.
Chastity devices, however, are undoubtedly real nowadays. Speciality websites provide literally hundreds of products, ranging from smart devices that can be operated by an app to metal devices that are locked and keyed.
There is a wide range of chastity kink, from foreplay, in which a person may refrain from having sex or be confined to a physical device for a brief period, to a full-fledged lifestyle, in which a partner controls the (literal) keys to a man's sexual freedom for days, weeks, or even months at a time. These gadgets are almost exclusively for men. Therefore, although chastity may have originated as a means of restricting and managing female libido (or, at the very least, as a complex cultural joke about doing so), it now has a very different connotation.
Chastity Kink made headlines in early 2021 due to a regrettable hacking incident. Hackers who were practically holding their genitals hostage sent threatening texts to confident men who were wearing smart chastity devices that were linked to applications. This narrative sparked a lot of curiosity among those who were not familiar with chastity kink. Finally, why in the world would someone want to confine their genitalia, whether via an app or something else?
According to Gigi Engle, author of All the F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life and a certified sex educator, kink-like chastity can be a haven for many guys who feel tremendous pressure to act in particular ways due to gender standards. It is partly a result of wanting to relinquish control and get out of your role," she explains. We are still terrified of female authority and power, which is one of the reasons this kink is so socially acceptable but still forbidden.
Tom*, 37, from Idaho, happened upon chastity while perusing a pornographic website. He soon discovered that giving up power might be an excellent release and that he was interested in adopting a more submissive role during sex. Tom thought the kink would be the ideal way to investigate such topics, but it took him a few weeks to summon the confidence to inform his wife. She wasn't sure what to think at first. Tom recalls, "I was so nervous that nothing I was saying came out right, so I did a terrible job trying to explain myself." "She advised me to give it some thought."
After a while, they began talking about it more, and Tom even got his wife a book about it. Tom now claims that they are closer as a result of kink exploration. He claims, "I don't think we've ever been happier or more in love with each other, and our relationship is better and stronger than ever." "Chastity has helped me better understand the struggles women face in a world dominated by men."
Women may also find this transgression of conventional gender conventions appealing. Shira works as a professional domme and is a "keyholder," which means she holds the keys to several of her male clients' chastity devices. In her free time, she also likes to kink with her lover. She values how the kink offers the woman authority (both physically and mentally), challenging patriarchal notions of sex.
Shira says, "A female-led relationship is often silenced or shamed in our society." "Who wears the trousers?" is a well-known expression.
"The masochistic thrill of being unable to get off is another."
Nearly every day, Giles* wears a chastity device. "Like a wedding ring, it's a reassuring presence and a reminder of ownership in everyday life," he explains. Additionally, he claims that having sex is improved when he is unable to orgasm or even use his penis. It's incredibly pleasurable and sends me into a phase of open-ended plateau. The masochistic joy of being unable to get off is another.
Although it may sound contradictory, proponents of male chastity described how removing their penis from the equation or refraining from having sex has improved their sex life. This is because "sex" no longer refers to penis-in-vagina; instead, people have become inventive and found new ways to feel pleasure.
According to Christian, he has been forced to refocus his attention on other erogenous zones. He claims that because he was unable to stimulate his penis, different areas of his body felt the need for pleasure, making his nipples and ass more sensitive. "My understanding of women's desire for "touch before sex" has improved."
Katie* is a thirtysomething biologist who works in Germany. Her now-husband introduced her to chastity; he was intrigued by the kink but hadn't yet given it a try. She says, "Because he was too shy, I was the one who got him his first plastic device from an internet store."
Katie now likes sex much more because chastity relieves the strain on their sexual relationship and allows her to feel more at ease. We have more sex than ever before, which is a startling consequence of our chastity. We both enjoy using a lot of toys," she explains. "He was always obedient, but now that he's trapped in a device, I don't have to try to please him."
It might be challenging to discuss a desire significantly if it deviates from accepted societal norms and you're unsure of your partner's reaction. "I think you have to make a calculation," says sex educator and Sex Hacker Pro video series creator Kenneth Play. Doing the arithmetic and balancing your aspirations versus the possible level of stigma is acceptable. I think people should consider the worst-case situation and imagine how they could feel if their spouse reacts negatively.
And what happens if a partner rejects the idea—that worst-case scenario? "I believe that having a partner who fully accepts us is a great blessing, but it's crucial to keep in mind that forcing compatibility can also be detrimental," Play adds. He continues by saying that if your spouse isn't interested in having a kink with you, you might talk about reaching a solution that works for both of you or opening up the relationship to other people.
Tony* and his wife have an open relationship and male chastity, which Tony claims has saved their sex life and works for both of them. After going out on a date with a guy, his wife will return home and tell Tony all that happened. He says, "I live vicariously through her." "Why? Due to the quality of the intercourse. There is no frustration or worry over subpar performance. She and I are both content.
Tony's wife had been out with friends when she ran into an ex and went home with him, which was one of his first encounters with chastity. Tony remembers that when she returned, she had me stripped, unlocked my gadget, and gave me a hand job while explaining everything. I became her when she expressed her feelings; I experienced what she did. In a short time, I was on the verge of having an orgasm. After that, I felt content, empty, and finished. That was the beginning. For me, the sex is fantastic. This is not something I want to change.
Chastity kinks are more than simply sex, Shira was eager to clarify. Additionally, they appeal to some of our most basic wants and needs, such as trust, vulnerability, and closeness. She claims that the goal of all kinks, including this one, is to enter an environment free from shame. "And congrats to the people who do it."
