Pegging 101: Guide to Bending Over Your Boyfriend

In his essay in Playboy: The Peak of Pegging?, sexuality psychologist Dr. Justin Lehmiller claims that pegging has gained a lot of popularity in recent years—the Pervasiveness of Anal Eroticism in Pop Culture and Pornography (2018). According to Lehmiller, 60% of men had dreams "about receiving anal sex… while about 40% of the women had fantasized about giving it" during his study on sexual fantasies with over 4,000 Americans, the bulk of whom identified as heterosexual. According to a different survey by Lelo (2015), 80% of women were eager to attempt prostate massage on their partner, while at least 70% of men have tried or would try it.

According to these statistics, pegging is a trendy, new and interesting sexual action that straight couples like to incorporate into their relationship. The number of anal enthusiasts who engage in historically prohibited sexual behavior has significantly increased.

What is Pegging?

Pegging is the practice of a heterosexual woman using a strap-on dildo to penetrate a man's anal area. Dan Savage, a sex journalist, coined the phrase in 2001. However, it had previously been used to describe a sexual act between heterosexual partners. In fact, the topic was first made popular in 1998 by SIR Video Productions' sex education film "Bend Over Boyfriend," which featured sexologist Carol Queen performing pegging with her boyfriend.

Why is Pegging So Popular?

Our rigid male/female gender binary has considerably loosened in recent years. Many people are becoming increasingly gender-neutral, identifying as somewhere on a wider spectrum of everything in between rather than as male or female.

Anal pleasure is now accepted in heterosexual partnerships, a shift from what was earlier thought to be forbidden for cis-gendered heterosexual men. Men are now aware that they have a prostate, that it can provide them with orgasms and great pleasure, and that having anal intercourse does not imply homosexuality or inferiority. Our "fascination with pegging reveals something much deeper... a seismic shift in societal views on sex and gender," Lehmiller concurs. He adds that pegging may be very enticing since it brings a different kind of sex into the partnership. Variety is the spice of life, as they say!

Couples can experiment with dominance and submission in their relationships, as well as gender roles, by pegging. Regardless of gender or sexual orientation, many adults also harbour various forms of BDSM as a desire. Pegging, then, gives couples the opportunity to experiment with those particular power and gender dynamics. Our rigid male/female gender binary has considerably loosened in recent years. Many people are becoming increasingly gender-neutral, identifying as somewhere in a broader spectrum of everything in between rather than as male or female.

Anal pleasure is now accepted in heterosexual partnerships, a shift from what was earlier thought to be forbidden for cis-gendered heterosexual men. Men are now aware that they have a prostate, that it can provide them with orgasms and great pleasure, and that having anal intercourse does not imply homosexuality or inferiority. Our "fascination with pegging reveals something much deeper... a seismic shift in societal views on sex and gender," Lehmiller concurs. He adds that pegging may be very enticing since it brings a different kind of sex into the partnership. Variety is the spice of life, as they say!

Couples can experiment with dominance and submission in their relationships, as well as gender roles, by pegging. Regardless of gender or sexual orientation, many adults also harbour various forms of BDSM as a desire. Pegging, then, gives couples the opportunity to experiment with those particular power and gender dynamics.

The Pleasurable P-Spot

About two inches into the rectum, the male prostate, sometimes known as the P-spot, is a walnut-sized gland. It is in charge of creating seminal fluid. Because of its abundance of sensory nerves, which can produce strong, intense orgasms in men known as "Super-O's" when stimulated, it has also gained a reputation as a highly erogenous zone.

The "rectum, anal canal, and anus are wonderfully erogenous zones, rich in nerve endings and super-sensitive to stimulation and penetration," according to anal expert Tristan Taormino.

Multiple orgasms, in which a man has an orgasm without ejaculating, are also linked to the prostate. Instead of stopping for the typical refractory period (the recovery phase following an orgasm), this enables them to continue.

Prostate Play and Pleasure

A penis owner can enjoy prostate play and pleasure in a variety of ways. They can utilize a variety of anal sex devices, such as vibrating anal toys, butt plugs, anal beads, and prostate massagers like those made by Aneros.

Anal intercourse with a partner can also take several forms, such as pegging, which involves using a strap-on dildo. Find the ideal toy for you by reading more about various kinds of toys below.

How to Peg Your Partner

Communication

It's crucial to discuss any new sex options with your spouse before engaging in any sexual activity. Check out our article on "How to Discuss Anal Sex with Your Partner." To go a step further, you might wish to decide on a "safe word" that either partner can use if play gets too painful or intense or for a variety of other reasons.

Butthole Cleaning

Clean your butt before engaging in any anal play! This entails washing your butt with light soap and water, not eating for a few hours before playing and having a bowel movement at least an hour prior.

Although it is not required unless you are concerned about poop or want to enjoy enema play, you can also use an enema or anal douche beforehand.

Use Lube

Lube is one of the three essentials of anal sex, along with relaxation and communication. Yes, it is crucial to lubricate the anus. This is because the anus does not stretch as readily as the vagina and does not lubricate itself.

You can use any anal lubrication, and the more, the better.

Foreplay

An effective warm-up is also necessary for anal play. This involves anal massage and activating all the different erogenous zones that turn you and your lover on.

Joseph Kramer, a sex educator, created the Rosebud Massage, a form of anal massage that involves stimulating and rubbing the "starfish" and surrounding buttocks before anal penetration. The derriere, cheeks, crack, and anal orifice are then massaged using "rocking, kneading, playful spanking, cupping, gliding, and stretching" while liberally lubricated. In order to prepare for anal intercourse, this aids in mental and physical relaxation.

Get Prepared

Before attempting any penetration, the pegger might want to try on their strap-on and get used to it for a bit. To obtain a "feel" for the location of the prostate and the bend of the anal canal, it's also a good idea to finger your partner's anus first. Before moving on to pegging, this is another excellent method to show your spouse what anal stimulation feels like.

Start Small

For a number of reasons, the majority of pegging strap-ons have a smaller dildo. First of all, you don't need a large strap-on to reach the prostate because it is only 2" inside the anus. Two, starting with a smaller dildo is usually the best option because a large one will probably be highly unpleasant, especially for novices.

Penetration

The individual being penetrated should choose how much they are pegged during strap-on sex. In other words, they determine the force, rhythm, depth, and speed of penetration. This is where communication, which is essential during anal play, enters the picture once more.

Best Pegging Positions

For strap-on anal intercourse, these three fundamental pegging positions are said to be the most effective.

Anal Missionary

The person being penetrated is lying on their back with their knees bent toward their chest and their legs up. On their partner's shoulders, they could also lean their legs. The butt can be raised higher for pegging by placing a cushion or sex pillow, such as the Liberator Wedge, below it.

Doggie Style

The person being entered goes on their hands and knees in this traditional anal sex position, and their partner penetrates them from behind. This is an easy position for both partners and one of the finest for novices.

Reverse Cowboy

In this position, the partner being penetrated sits on the strap-on wearer's lap while the wearer sits on the edge of a chair or bed. The partner on top can control the angle, speed, and depth of penetration while gradually easing down on the dildo in this position.

Best Pegging Strap-Ons

For Beginners

A cute pair of red and black lace boy shorts with a little silicone dildo that's ideal for pegging is Scandal's Crotchless Pegging Panty Set.

Gender-Neutral

Any strap-on dildo with a flared base can be worn with the gender-neutral Temptasia Harness Brief boxer briefs. It is very cozy and ideal for those who wish to give packing a try.

Most strap-on harnesses can accommodate the 5.5" Gender Fluid Enthrall Strap-On Dildo. Made of 100% body-safe silicone, it has a non-phallic design and a curved tip for P-spot and G-spot enjoyment.

For Vulva-Owners

For extra stimulation when pegging a partner, the Strap U Pro Rider has remote-controlled vibrations that target the wearer's G-spot. The one being pegged also benefits from additional vibration. Experts are more suited for this toy because strapless strap-ons are more difficult to use and require strong Kegel muscles to hold in place. Nevertheless, for training purposes, it can be utilized with a harness.

For Beginner to Expert

With the two interchangeable dildos (small and medium) in Tantus's original Bend Over Beginner Kit, you can progress to the larger one or switch them up based on your partner or preferred kind of pleasure.

For Cowboy Position

I adore this Ultra Thigh Strap-On, which is constructed of stretchy, soft, and comfortable neoprene. It can be used for Cowboy anal strap-on play and is adjustable to fit around the thigh.

Let's Get Pegging!

For daring couples, pegging is a fantastic method to find new sexual pleasure. Keep in mind that lubrication is your best friend, communication is essential, and you should go slowly. All of your anal and pegging explorations should go well if you heed these crucial pointers!