Queening

The femme-on-top oral sex position is known as Queening. Because the person who identifies as female sits on a partner's face like a queen on a throne, it receives its name. Queening, which has its roots in the BDSM world, enables the female-identifying partner to obtain either analingus or cunnilingus.

Origins of the Term Queening

Queening has been practiced by people all around the world and throughout history. Upper-class ladies are shown queening in ancient Egyptian artwork. In addition to medieval and Victorian Europe, the practice was also well-known in ancient China, India, and Japan. In these civilizations, queens and other elite women used queening as a means of gratifying their sexual desires without getting pregnant. To be formally faithful to their absent husbands, some married women also engaged in queening. These ladies were typically subjected to oral sex by enslaved men and servants. Nonetheless, women frequently went to brothels in Japan, where this service was rendered by males who had received queening training.

This phrase is very recent, even though questioning is an ancient practice. It originated with the fem-dom BDSM community, which praised the power that women possessed during this sexual performance.

"I find it funny that it seems like this has just been 'discovered,' as any form of sex act has existed since two people got together and realized that any sex act felt good." In essence, having oral sex just for a woman's enjoyment has always existed; it's just that people are now discussing it with this phrase, according to sexuality expert Kim Airs. "Call it the popularization of the term 'Queen,' women's empowerment, whatever you want, but it's good that it's being recognized as a way for women to enjoy sex."

Why People Love Queening

Queening is popular for a variety of reasons. Queening requires a person who identifies as female to control their spouse, forcing them to submit and provide pleasure. People who are unfamiliar with power exchange can learn what this type of interaction feels like, or it can reinforce dominant and submissive roles in a BDSM relationship. Many people love feeling vulnerable in a submissive role or feel physically and psychologically strong in a dominant one.

A kink writer and performer in BDSM, Auntie Vice, noted, "It puts the person on top in control of how much, where, and how long stimulation occurs." In terms of what most AFAB (assigned female at birth) people are taught about sex, it is likewise a significant role reversal. Many of us AFAB people were taught that controlling our pleasure is wrong or unladylike, that people dislike performing oral sex on us, and that our genitalia smell. Queening can give us a sense of power and confronts all of these.

The submissive person may also feel powerful because they know that their partner's enjoyment depends on them.

Easy access to the clitoris, vulva, perineum, and anus is possible when in a queening position. Some claim that getting oral intercourse in this position is more likely to cause them to climax than any other, according to Dame. Additionally, this posture encourages the submissive partner to please their queen and the queen to concentrate on their physical feelings. The submissive partner does not have to worry about keeping an erection or becoming preoccupied with their pleasure for the queen to respond. They can focus on their partner's physique and provide oral pleasure. Both participants may find the attention that Queening promotes to be extremely exciting.

"For some people, this position for oral sex can feel a little less vulnerable than laying down," Vice continued. Lying back for oral intercourse can be mentally taxing for those who find it difficult to show vulnerability around others. Some people feel they regain some control and become less vulnerable when enjoying oral sex via Queening. Because they can offer pleasure without being noticed, some people with body concerns also feel less vulnerable when queening.

How Common is Queening?

It's hard to say how widespread Queening is, but articles from magazines like Giddy and Essence say it's becoming increasingly common.

The majority of sex and sexuality surveys concentrate on cis heterosexuals. Positioning is typically not included at all when it comes to AFAB bodies having oral sex. Sex influencers are causing more conversation on Instagram and TikTok. Using this as a gauge of interest, it appears that more individuals are becoming aware of this fetish and curious about it," Vice continued.

According to Google search term trends, in 2023, there were significant increases in the number of searches for "queening" and "meaning of queening" compared to the previous five years. This would suggest that more individuals are becoming acquainted with the term. When such terms arise in the media, people typically search for them, and some of those who search will try them. Thus, interest is increasing, though it's unclear what baseline is used.

10.7% of the 1,000 women polled by Bad Girls Bible about oral sex said they liked getting cunnilingus while sitting on their partner's face. Additionally, nearly 49% said they like getting analingus. However, the journal didn't inquire about their preferred positions.

Overlapping Fetishes and Interests

Since Queening was first introduced to the BDSM community, interest in this act frequently coexists with interest in other BDSM endeavors. For instance, body worship or humiliation play may involve queening. Any play with dominating and submissive dynamics can also include it.

Receiving a queen might be enjoyable for those who have an ass fetish because it exposes their partner's posterior. They can enjoy this body part's taste, smell, and feel in the ideal posture. An osmophile may be present when the submissive partner is excited by the physiological odors connected with Queening.

Queening differs from smothering in that it does not seek to block the submissive partner's airways entirely. Additionally, oral sex is not usually a part of smothering. Nonetheless, both behaviors might be enjoyable to those who want to feel their partner's body weight against their face. The submissive partner may have a squashing fetish if the physical feelings of smothering and Queening are more alluring than being out of breath.

There may be some overlap with amaurophilia because the submissive partner cannot see much while queening. Amaurophiles are attracted to invisible companions.

Queening chairs can be of interest to those who like queening. Queening is safer and more comfortable with this padded sex furniture. They are, therefore, perfect for prolonged play sessions.

Synonyms for Queening

A gender-neutral synonym for Queening is facesitting. While only women can assume the dominating role in queening, people of any gender can assume the dominant role in facesitting. Couples engage in oral sex in the Seated Royalty sex position when they use a queening chair.

How to Queen

The submissive partner lies on their back, either on the floor, on a bed, or under a queening chair, to receive a queen. They can receive their queen from this position, who sits on a queening chair or their partner's face. The queen typically supports some of their weight without a queening chair by squatting or kneeling on their partner's face. Depending on their inclinations, the submissive partner can then kiss and suck their queen's anus and genitalia.

The queen typically turns her back on her partner. They may, meanwhile, also turn to face their partner's feet. This is referred to as reverse Queening at times.

A queen might also perch on the edge of a standard chair. For cunnilingus, their partner can crawl on all fours and place themselves beneath the queen. Analingus does not do well in this position.

Safety Tips for Queening

To be queen, consent is essential. Before attempting Queening, open communication can guarantee that everyone is on board with the concept. Couples should also decide on a safe phrase and safe signal if they don't already have one. Since the submissive might not be able to talk and utilize their safe word during Queening, a safe signal—such as tapping thighs or snapping fingers—is essential to preserving the agreement. The queen can stop and ask their partner if they want to stop, take a break, or attempt a different position when they see the safe signal. The queen also has the chance to address any issues around body image during this discussion.

Vice stated that some people, particularly those of us with larger bodies, may worry excessively about "squeezing" or "suffocating" our partners. During Queening, these anxieties may divert us, making it difficult to appreciate the performance. If you want to make sure your partner is having fun and doesn't feel squeezed, let them know. If you're on the bottom, reiterate how much fun it is to have your spouse sit on your face in the conclusion. The queen will feel more like a queen after doing this!

If the queen does not support their weight, they risk suffocating. "Remember that your service provider, as they may be known, needs to breathe, so a little hip and thigh spreading will keep them alive and breathing!" Airs clarified. For instance, I prefer to have a pillow beneath my knees when kneeling on the floor, and they can utilize it to increase their comfort. I like to apply more pressure by carefully grinding on their face while squatting down more. To avoid smothering their face, I raise my hips a little if I want less touch or tongue activity.

A queen's body may experience stress as a result of Queening. Vice clarified, "You should experiment with positions that don't overstress your knees and ankles, depending on your joints and overall physicality." Compared to the "Asian squat," placing one foot on the floor or bed and the knee of the other leg on the floor or bed can offer more significant support. The next step for further support is to place both knees on the floor or bed. For more knee support, try to get dancer kneepads.

Queening can be safer and more comfortable for both parties if a queening chair is used instead of sitting on the face of the submissive partner. "Any sex swing can be used for vulva-licking pleasure without using your hands!" Airs were added. Queens may also support themselves by clinging to a wall or headboard to increase their stamina and partner safety.

There is little chance of spreading STIs like chlamydia, syphilis, herpes, and HPV when queening, even though it is less dangerous than vaginal or anal intercourse. Dental dams can reduce the risk of getting or spreading these diseases. Additionally, germs, viruses, and parasites may be present in the anus. By taking a bath before queening, the queen might lessen the possibility of infecting their subordinate partner. Additionally, as cunnilingus can bring bacteria into the vagina and result in illnesses, it is best to avoid practicing it right after analingus.