Consensual Non-Consent: What Is CNC Kink?
We all have kinks, even if you don't discuss them publicly. We love them. Particularly when you can embrace them and find a partner who allows you to explore what turns you on, kinks make sex even more thrilling.
Consensual non-consent, or CNC, is one of the most prevalent kinks but also one of the least understood, and we wish to change that!
CNC kink: what is it? How can it be included safely? Let's explore this misinterpreted sexual fantasy and talk about how to use it in your sexual life.
What Is CNC Kink?
Consensual non-consent seems like a contradiction. How is it possible to consent to a non-consensual sexual encounter? It can be helpful to see CNC as any other kind of role play in which the roles are predetermined and agreed upon.
You're asking your partner not to take no for an answer rather than expecting them to dress up as a naughty schoolgirl or put on a fursuit (or let you do the same). Although it could sound like rape, the consent is crucial.
More consent is typically given during CNC kinks than during any other kind of sexual contact, yet consent can still be withdrawn at any moment.
However, play rape is not the only aspect of it. Additionally, there are other kinds of CNC kink, such as:
- Blackmail — needing to comply with the blackmailer's demands to prevent consequences.
- Hypnosis — being sexually manipulated and hypnotized.
- Rape fantasy — being coerced into engaging in sexual activity with your spouse.
- Selling — being sold for sexual reasons without consent.
- Somnophilia — engaging in sexual activity with a person who is "asleep."
The causes of CNC kinks are not well studied; however, remember that what is healthy for one individual might not be for another. It's not always a negative thing for some people to utilize CNC kink as a coping mechanism for sexual abuse.
However, it can also cause children to act out, so it's important to handle the challenge of these boundaries with tact and compassion.
How Do You Practice CNC?
Are you prepared to try CNC kink now that you have a clearer explanation of what it is? We have a few pointers for practicing CNC safety.
Establish a Safe Word
Whether or not using a safe word in CNC prevents you from experiencing immersion is debatable. However, you may still "fight back" and scream no or stop all you want if you choose a random, safe term (pineapple, banana, unicorn, etc.) that you know you won't speak during sex.
We strongly advise using a safe word if this is your first time using CNC. You never know when anything can become "too much," and you don't want a play scenario to become more realistic unintentionally. Pick a safe term, keep it hot, and keep it consensual.
Negotiate Beforehand
Perhaps more than in any other kink investigation, setting boundaries is essential when pursuing any CNC kink desires. You can let go in a way you might not have imagined when you and your partner have taken the time to discuss different outcomes and what is and isn't on the table.
It would help if you negotiated with your partner in the following ways:
- Is bondage acceptable? What kind, if any? Do you mind being bound with a rope? Handcuffs?
- What degree of physical contact that isn't sexual are you seeking? Can you get spit on by your partner? Give you a face-slap? Are you pulling your hair? Give your nipples a pinch. Take a blood sample?
- Which kind of penetration is acceptable to you? Just vaginal? Does the table have anal? Do you feel comfortable using sex devices like vibrators or dildos, or would you prefer penetration with just body parts?
- Is your lover capable of tearing your clothes? Make a mark?
- Do you want to use lube with your partner?
- Would you prefer that your significant other wear a condom? Can you conceive, or are you on birth control? Have you talked about STIs?
That can seem like a lot, but it's a crucial component of living out your CNC kink. Whether or not you have a CNC kink, communication is one of the most important aspects of any sexual connection.
Discuss the End of the Scene
It's a good idea to talk about terminating the situation, even if you choose to use a safeword. It's simple to get started, mainly if you've talked about the start time.
It can be more difficult to end, so discussing what that means for you is essential. Setting a time limit might be a good idea; you can constantly renegotiate to continue after the allotted time.
Experiment With BDSM Instead
Why not try some BDSM first if all of this seems daunting and you're not sure where to begin? A lot of the itch that people with a CNC kink have can be satisfied by BDSM, which also allows you to have a peek without committing.
You can discover more about your preferences by experimenting with various BDSM forms, which you can then incorporate into your CNC play (should you choose to pursue it). You might discover that having your spouse grasp your hair makes you extra wet or that you genuinely want to be restrained and spit on.
You can feel less exposed because many of the components of CNC are present, along with more evident safe word usage.
In Summary
CNC kink: what is it? It might be one of the sexiest kinks, but it's also one of the most misinterpreted.
It may be boiling, enjoyable, and therapeutic to trust someone enough to let them do what they want and to let go in a manner that you might not have been able to do previously. Be careful out there, and make sure you talk about everything beforehand!
