Why is Cuckolding the most popular fetish trend right now?
Some people consider it to be their worst nightmare ever. Others find it to be their most alluring fantasy. What is cuckolding, why is it so frowned upon, and how can a fetish arouse such conflicting feelings?
I watched as my wonderful, flawless boyfriend of a year carefully took her clothes off. Another woman, her. An absolute stranger. She was youthful, attractive, and perfectly voluptuous. It was clear he was hungry for her. His hands showed how raw his desires were, and his eyes were full of lust. He was now examining every inch of her obviously aroused body with his mouth—the same mouth that had given me a gentle kiss. No guilt, no remorse, no second-guessing. Had he given me any thought at all, then? I observed from afar. Was I able to stop them? No. You ask, why? as I was the one who started it all.
Did I prevent my partner from taking her clothes off and kissing her? Obviously not. I set up the whole darn thing.
You've probably heard of polyandry, polygamy, and polyamory by now, but are you familiar with cuckolding? According to Google Trends, it appears to be the newest fetish craze.
So, what exactly are we talking about here?
In essence, cuckolding is when you watch your mate have sex with someone else and become aroused.
It falls under the BDSM family tree of fetishes because, despite lacking leather gear and bondage devices, it is intended to have an aspect of shame, submission, or dominance attached to it. (My favorite, yay!)
"Cuckolding is basically getting turned on by watching your partner have sex with someone else. Yes, turned on."
Who is the Cuckold?
The cuckoo bird is the source of the word cuckold. When the host is too busy foraging for food (or doing whatever it is cuckoo birds do), the female cuckoo bird has been known to sneak into other birds' nests, kick out the host's egg, and leave her egg there. Returning to her eggs, the unwary cuckoo bird makes sure they all hatch correctly. She is unaware that she has taken in her neighbor's child.
In the Middle Ages, the term "cuckold" was initially used to refer to males whose wives had cheated on them disparagingly. It implied that, like the mother cuckoo bird, the man was rearing offspring that were obviously not his own.
The modern Cuckold, in contrast to his medieval predecessor, is well aware of and, in fact, fully supports his partner's immoral behavior.
Let's get to know the whole cast and crew.
The individual watching their partner have sex with someone else is known as the Cuckold.
The partner who wins the lottery of relationships and gets to have sex with someone else is known as the Cuckoldress.
The third party is the bull.
"The modern cuckold, in contrast to his medieval predecessor, is fully aware of and, in fact, fully supports his partner's immoral behavior."
Is it for straight men only?
Obviously not! Why should the fun go to them? This is for the enjoyment of persons of all genders and sexual orientations, whether they are straight, gay, transgender, or bi. Sometimes, like with me, it's the female who observes and waits. Sometimes it isn't.
My homosexual male close buddies enjoy experimenting by cuckolding straight women. Every pair has a different combination, and they can be as imaginative as they like.
So is it like a 3sum or polygamy?
Not exactly. Cuckolding is when the Cuckold does not participate in the sexual act directly. The Cuckold will usually observe their mate having sex with the other individual. They could be in the same room together, or the "cheating" partner could be transmitting the cuckold pictures and videos from a distance.
Having several romantic relationships is referred to as consensually non-monogamy and polyamory. Cuckolding is not an emotional or romantic tie; it is solely a sexual one. It is not the same as swinging because swinging entails switching sexual partners. There is no switching when cuckolding. Only one person is engaging in sexual activity; the other is merely watching and not actively participating.
"It's not a three-sum game. Cuckolding is when the Cuckold does not participate in the sexual act directly.
Why would someone find this hot?
Blame biology: some studies indicate that males may be influenced to engage in more intense and protracted sexual activity if they observe their female partners engaging in sexual activity with other guys. This theory, referred to as "The Sperm Competition Theory," centers on our animalistic desire for fertilization.
Degradation and humiliation: Masochistic behaviors, such as demeaning someone else or being degraded themselves, can be intensely pleasurable for specific individuals. Unbelievably, the mockery one experiences when their partner cheats on them is alluring.
Some people feel that this kind of humiliation is insufficient because cuckolding is consenting by nature, which eliminates the shame that comes with actual adultery. In certain situations, further humiliation is added to the act to emphasize the degrading nature of the problem, such as being made fun of and ridiculed by the bull or their partner.
Submission/domination: Since BDSM is all about giving up control to someone else, in this case, the Cuckold gets away with giving up their ability to gratify their partner sexually to a third party. This power play turns out to be a powerful arousal source.
"Believe it or not, the mockery one experiences when their partner cheats on them is alluring. Some people require further humiliation to truly make the degradation clear; they like being made fun of and laughed at by both their partner and the outsider.
Being jealous of someone else's affection for your lover can be a powerful aphrodisiac that makes you want them even more. "I'll get what she's getting!"
Boredom: Couples who want change use cuckolding to fight the routine and monotonous nature of committed partnerships.
The opposite of jealousy is comparison. It is the joy one experiences upon witnessing their significant other's happiness. (The happiest sort, in my opinion!)
Society says no. Although cuckolding is a popular dream, it is generally regarded as socially inappropriate, particularly in cultures like ours, where monogamy is valued. This scandalous conduct will undoubtedly be too appetizing for the rule-breaking nonconformists to resist.
This is a bit of a paradox: empowerment. How is it possible for something degrading to be empowering? Some people feel as though they have some control over their fantasies when they act them out.
"Couples who seek change effectively counteract the routine and monotonous character of committed partnerships with cuckolding."
Ironically, though, these kinds of fantasies might energize the fantasizer. For some guys, evoking something unpleasant or demeaning on a bodily or emotional level could be a huge turn-on. According to author and clinical psychologist Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D.
Cuckolding may be decisive for a guy who fears his wife cheating on him yet has fantasies about her being with another man since it allows him complete control over the scenario. His imaginary dream may come "true," but he still gets to bring his wife home.
Similarly, in a society that, regrettably, too frequently tramples on women's sexuality, a woman may want to be free to express herself sexually. Although she wouldn't want to do it behind her husband's back, she might feel it powerful to be with another man. Cuckolding would, therefore, be a win-win scenario that would enable her to make her voice heard without causing harm to her husband.
Ironically, though, these kinds of fantasies might energize the fantasizer. For some guys, evoking something unpleasant or demeaning on a bodily or emotional level could be a huge turn-on: author and clinical psychologist Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D.
To cuck or not to cuck, that is the question.
Benefits
Communication is essential because couples must be totally honest with one another about their desires, boundaries, and other things. They get to know one another a little better and learn how to converse much more deeply.
Bonding: Couples frequently say that having to be totally open and trusting of one another strengthens their bond. Although meeting someone new can be intimidating, it is meaningful and frequently results in a far more genuine bond between the individuals.
Satisfied wishes: how many people can discuss their desires honestly with their spouses and have them agreed upon and accepted? Most often, people who need or want their sexual needs met but are too scared to talk about them cheat behind their partner's back, ruining their valuable connection. They don't have to because cuckolding allows them to fulfill their fantasies while maintaining their relationship.
The unfortunate cuckoldress isn't given much attention in this piece, but don't worry; they also gain from this seductive behavior. The enormous pleasure, my friends, is that they get to do something that will satisfy their partner in addition to having some guilt-free sexual variety both inside and outside of their partnership.
Couples frequently say that being totally vulnerable and trusting of one another strengthens their bond, which results in a deeper and more genuine connection.
Drawbacks
When reality sets in, it can be highly upsetting and challenging for you to watch or have sex with someone else while your lover watches you. Of course, you and your spouse may enter this situation believing you are ready.
Emotional risk: it goes without saying that emotions other than arousal, such as rejection, envy, or deflation, could surface at any time. It could be challenging to express these emotions while doing the deed. After hooking up, the two may grow close and want to see each other again, but without the Cuckold. Resentment and other negative emotions may follow.
STIs: Engaging in sexual activity always increases the chance of contracting an STD or becoming pregnant unintentionally. Make sure you engage in safe sexual behavior and have a prearranged procedure in place in case someone leaves with an STD or STI.
You've concluded that cuckolding is your thing. What comes next?
You can satisfy your cuckolding desires in a variety of ways. However, make sure you do these procedures before logging onto Tinder.
1. Breathe
You must first feel good about yourself and be in a healthy mental and emotional state. After you have that, choose a good location to share your desires. It's probably not the journey to your in-laws or while enjoying coffee at your favorite cafe. Select a quiet area away from distractions and take a deep breath.
Create a new area to share from and leave all preconceived notions about your partner's reaction at the door. Though they may not be as excited as you, be ready for your spouse to be enamored with the concept. Don't get caught up in the results. Your sharing is the breakthrough.
2. Be honest
Be brave and honest when sharing. Explain to your lover why you are attracted to cuckolding. Describe your goals and their potential contribution to the process.
If they don't feel the same way, keep in mind that expressing your desires is a healthy way to create opportunities for different kinds of inquiry. With your spouse, you might be able to share a "milder" form of cuckolding or perhaps a kink you were unaware you had. (Oh, believe me, there are others!)
Be ready to respond to the many questions they will likely have regarding the bull. Before your conversation, consider how you will discover your bull. Are you two going to participate? Where are they? After cuckolding, what will happen? Will the bull stay to cuddle? Can you meet again?
3. Do your homework
Not everyone is aware of cuckolding's definition, mechanism, or motivation. Prepare a few articles to show your significant other. You want articles that are objective and well-written, like this one (cough ahem). Video clips could be used to demonstrate its appearance.
4. Emphasize boundaries
It would reassure your partner to hear you stress that you would have unambiguous guidelines in place when cuckolding. Tell them that they would be an essential part of the experience and that you want to do this WITH them. Last but not least, I would advise partners to establish clear limits by defining criteria and regulations. For example, you may prohibit having sex with a person you know or cuckolding in your home.
5. Pace yourself
This requires the consent of both adults and a pace that works for both you and your partner. Your spouse might need to take it gently, but you could be eager to try it out the following day.
Take it one step at a time since you are developing intimacy and trust in the process. It might not be suitable for you to tell them every graphic detail that you have repeatedly rehearsed in your thoughts. Take a cue from them.
Feelings of depression, rejection, and envy might surface at any time. It could be challenging to express these emotions while doing the deed. The two individuals who are hooking up could want to see each other again. It may become disorganized.
What if your partner is a cuckold enthusiast?
Whether you are shocked or not, you should listen to your spouse because it takes a lot of bravery for them to express their wants to you.
Try to keep your judgments to yourself while they share, just as they had to put their worries aside to speak to you.
People shut down and, as a result, stop talking to their partners about what they want when they are made to feel embarrassed about it. As a result, there is a vicious loop in the relationship where people feel frustrated because they aren't getting what they need or want and are afraid to ask for it for fear of being embarrassed. They cannot discuss or explore their goals, no matter what they may be, in a safe environment.
Seek clarification and ask questions. If you are too shocked to do so now, tell them you would like to talk about it again later.
You will only gain a deeper understanding of them if you ask the appropriate questions. You might want to utilize the following examples:
- "Is this something you truly want to do, or is it just a fantasy?
- "How do you think this will strengthen our bond?"
- "What if, in the middle of it, I decide to change my mind?"
- "Who is going to be the bull, the third party?"
Because they might not have reviewed the details in their minds, your partner might not have all the answers for you. You don't have to decide right away. Go slowly. Deciding to share such an experience with your significant other is complex, and it shouldn't be handled carelessly.
"People close up and don't share with their partners when they are made to feel ashamed of what they want."
All aboard!
So both of you are in? Fantastic!
To test the waters, I recommend enacting the fantasy first with your spouse alone. Just having your spouse listen to you as you talk about your fantasy of seeing them get nasty with a total stranger, famous person, etc., can be enough. If your lover flirts with someone else, go out and let them tell you about it. For either you or your lover, this might be sufficient.
If you're prepared for in-person interactions, be explicit about the requirements surrounding the bull. Make sure you have reviewed backup plans and clarified any regulations. Throughout the process, check in to determine if your partner is on board.
Both couples' and the third party's physical, mental, and sexual well-being are equally vital, so this should be a rewarding experience for everyone. Before jumping in, make sure to talk about this with the bull and yourself.
"Cuckolding ought to be a rewarding activity. Both spouses' and the third party's physical, mental, and sexual well-being are equally crucial.
What will it be like?
Cuckolding scenes are as different as any other sex scene, and describing one would be the same.
When their lover returns home, some individuals get off on hearing every detail of their sex mission. Some prefer to observe while sitting in the same room while it occurs. Some people find that being unable to leave makes the sensation more intense, so they sit there and may touch themselves, but they won't let themselves climax.
It may be anything you choose. I don't need to describe the experience in greater detail because our readers are very smart and creative.
"To understand and appreciate our sexuality, we don't have to define and psychoanalyze every facet of it."
I want to say one final thing because you're excited to get started.
This author lacks the wisdom to examine the complex subject of human sexuality thoroughly. I am aware that you all visit these sites in an attempt to understand why some of us favor this and others that.
In actuality, though, our world is a rainbow of color and diversity; every one of us has our history, morals, affections, and outlook on the future. One cannot, and should not, identify something so vast and mysterious. To comprehend and appreciate our sexuality, we don't have to define and psychoanalyze every facet of it.
Despite their seeming deviance or unsoundness, our sexual impulses reveal something fundamental to our sexual identity. And both the other person and oneself should be honored for this. Hearing each other out without condemnation or embarrassment is the very least we can do.
That's what cuckolding—or any other fetish, for that matter—is all about. Accept it; in many cases, this acceptance will lead to a better knowledge of your kink. Does it really matter why you enjoy what you do as long as you're not hurting anyone else?
Bulls, cuckolds, and cuckoldresses, I would adore hearing from you! I am aware that you are out there. Tell us about your fantasies below. Your thoughts on this sexy obsession would be greatly appreciated.
