The Best Sex Tips + Toys For Sapphics, Lesbians, Bisexuals, and WLW
Greetings, fellow sapphics, and any interested beauties! We're celebrating the delights of WLW sex during Pride month, from scissoring to strapping and all in between.
In this article, we will use the term "sapphic" to refer to women who are attracted to other women. This includes lesbians, bisexuals, and other women-loving women, such as trans women and non-binary individuals. We use this term to be inclusive and make sure everyone feels welcome and understood.
Furthermore, I want to be clear that not all people who identify as sapphic or sapphic-adjacent have the same gender identity, anatomy, or both. Not all lesbians are cis women! These strategies are mainly for couples with vulva, but non-binary and trans individuals are encouraged to join the conversation. Many of these play techniques are enjoyable regardless of gender or physical characteristics.
Ultimately, try these suggestions if they resonate with you or spark your interest! Irrespective of how you identify, you are free to explore and appreciate your body and sexuality.
How do queer women have sex?
Many people wonder how lesbians have sex, especially in a society that still focuses on traditional P-in-V sex. In all honesty, there is no correct response! Any pair can decide jointly on their preferred method of having sex, which can vary from partner to partner, individual to individual, and even day to day based on our moods!
So, let's dispel a few myths before getting started.
Myth: All lesbians use strap-ons.
If you do not want penetration to be engaged, it is not necessary. While strap-on sex is popular among WLG couples and can be great, it's not the only option. Whether or not penetration is served, there are many acceptable methods to have sex, including grinding, kinking, mouth-play, hand-play, and toys.
Myth: It's easier when you have the same anatomy.
It doesn't follow that you'll like the same kinds of stimulus just because you could have the same pieces. Yes, it might help you find some hot places if you're familiar with the layout, but each body is unique, so even if two people have identical anatomy, one person's toes may curl while another person yawns. Due to this, communication is essential!
Myth: Lesbian sex in porn isn't real.
Some people may disagree, but remember that porn is just for fun and not a guide. It's okay to try things you see in lesbian porn, but always prioritize consent and communication in real life. You can experiment with the flashy techniques you often see in videos to find what works (or doesn't) for you and your partner.
Examples include scissoring and 69-ing. (Incidentally, many of the female actors in these shows adore having sex with other women, so you can imagine how irritating they would be to be labeled as performing "not real" sexy things!)
Myth: There's no need for safer sex protection.
Fluid exchange during sexual activities, like oral, anal, or vulva-on-vulva play, can cause sexually transmitted infections (STIs). This can happen regardless of a person's genital anatomy. STIs can be transmitted through any type of sexual fluid exchange. It is important to practice safe sex to reduce the risk of contracting STIs.
Pregnancy risk also exists if one couple has anatomy that generates semen, even if they are on hormone replacement therapy. Furthermore, some STIs, like herpes, don't even call for fluid exchange. These dangers can be considerably decreased using barriers like dental dams or wearable barriers like Lorals.
Ways to play
There is no one correct method to enjoy sex, which is one of its most excellent qualities.
There are many ways to have fun, like feeling our bodies, using toys, and trying different activities. We can play alone or with others, and explore different types of play, like sensation play and kink. Here are some popular ways that WLW couples enjoy spending time together. This list is not exhaustive, so feel free to do whatever makes you and your partner happy!
Grinding, Tribbing, + Scissoring
I could pay off my meters for a year if I had a quarter for each time; in my capacity as a sex educator and as a lesbian woman, I was asked, "Is scissoring a real thing?" In a nutshell, the response is yes! It is, in fact, something that many people who have vulvas like.
Tribbing, also called tribadism, is when a vulva rubs against a partner's body. It can also refer to when two vulvas rub together to stimulate sexual pleasure. When two women are scissoring, they are rubbing against each other directly. But this isn't always like the acrobatic scenes in mainstream porn. It's not always two women on their backs, moving their hips and intertwining their legs like scissors.
There are various ways to experience this sensation without having to be as strong as Supergirl. You can rub against your partner's knee, grind against each other's thighs, or ride on a pubic mound. Try this in a missionary, spooning, side-by-side, and face-to-face position. You may also bring in some pillows, sex wedges, or other positioning furniture to help elevate your body for easier access and provide additional support from a surface beneath you.
Tribbing and grinding can also be done while engaging in other forms of play, whether in clothing or not. For example, you can move your hips together to create more friction during a passionate makeout session. There's a reason the knee controversy on TikTok went viral.
Fingering + Hand Play
Our hands are among the best tools we have for playing, from warming up to dismounting. The list is endless: the tips of our fingers for a feather-light touch, nails for penetrating someone's back, well-lubricated fingers for penetration.
Fingering for G-spot and P-spot play
Have you ever heard of the "come hither" strategy? The G-spot and P-spot react well to this hand-play method, which involves bending one or more fingers to make a beckoning gesture with firm, rhythmic pressure. As many fingers as you like (two is the most common, but you and your partner can try anything!), insert them (use lubricant!), and curl them so that it looks like you're inviting someone to approach.
Point your fingertips in the direction of the front of the body because these hot spots are situated one to three inches behind the anterior, or front, wall of the vaginal or anal canals. Play with depth, pressure, and pace until you find the exact moment that makes you go crazy.
Clitoral fingering techniques
To enhance the experience of every touch, explore the vulva with your fingertips. This is a terrific way to lean into excitement and get all the blood flowing to the genital area.
You can use a clitoral touch to start things before doing more. Start close to the thighs and carefully trace the entire vulva with the pads of your fingertips.
Gently draw circles with your fingers, teasing and closing in until you're creating tiny circles on the clitoris' head. Make the clit the center of each lap. (If your significant other is too delicate for close contact, try this over underpants or circle the clit itself.)
Fisting play
Fisting can be a fantastic technique to explore if you and your sapphic partner are into deep penetration or identify as size queens or royalty. To start arousal, warm up the body with some external play; you must be highly arousable for this.
Then, use one or two fingers first, ensure you're thoroughly lubricated, and add more as needed. After that, gradually add fingers three and four to form the shape of a duck's bill. Add your thumb next if you and your partner are comfortable with it.
If you can reach that point comfortably, keep trying until your hand forms a fist inside your body. The hand can then be shoved, or you can move it to get different pressure sensations.
Safety tip: Some ligaments hold organs in place, so you don't want to injure them by moving them back and forth violently like a windshield wiper. Additionally, pay attention to your nails and cuticles. Cut and file your nails extremely short for safety if you don't have a lubricated, form-fitting nitrile or latex glove.
Fisting may be incredibly intimate as well as quite raw and kinky. Remember to talk to your spouse throughout the exploration process and use a lot of lubricant.
Cunnilingus + Oral Play
Said, oral sex is sex! Cunnilingus is the act of stimulating the vulva with the mouth, also known as going down, eating out, eating pussy, etc.
These feelings can feel special and intimate because they involve all the wonderful sensations our mouths can create.
During oral sex, you can try different sensations. For example, gently lick the labia with a flat tongue. You can also flick the tip of the tongue for precise clit stimulation. Another option is to kiss the inner thighs.
Additionally, you can suck on the clit or use the tongue to penetrate the vagina. Finally, try humming against your partner for added vibration. All of these methods can also be used to stimulate the highly nerve-rich rim of the booty during analingus, often known as rimming play.
Best Lesbians Sex toys
Any sex toy you enjoy using alone can be excellent to use with a partner, and many partnered sex devices are just as fun to use alone! This is one of the finest things about sex toys, in my opinion! Take some time to experiment and be creative, regardless of whether you have a sapphire sweetie to play with or already have a toy you love to use for a steamy solo session.
Strap-ons
A strap-on is a combination of a dildo and harness worn for penetration play. Strap-ons are great for anal sex, P-spot and G-spot play, vaginal sex, and roleplaying. They can also be used for dildo blowjobs, handjobs, and gender affirmation during sex.
Strap on harnesses
There are different types of harnesses available. Some are traditional adjustable jockstrap style.
Others are pull-on boxers or briefs style. There are also harnesses that attach your dildo to different body parts, such as the hand, face, or thigh. Each type offers a unique experience.
Strap on dildos
Any dildo that has a base that fits into the O-ring of a strap-on harness is considered a strap-on dildo. Dildos are available in a wide variety of sizes and forms, ranging from pack-and-play (a dildo that serves as a packer) and realistic dildos to fantasy dildos with unusual colors and forms like unicorn horns or tie-dye shafts.
Double dildos and strapless strap-ons
Double dildos have two insertable ends. They are great for double penetration or tandem play. In tandem play, both partners can be penetrated at the same time.
Strapless strap-on dildos fit securely around the wearer's body, giving both partners a full feeling during play. Both partners feel pleasure from the top and bottom.
To avoid using your muscles to hold your toy, pair a strapless strap-on with an open-ended harness for support. This harness allows you to feed the dildo all the way through the base to help keep it sturdy. Many strapless strap-ons are made to conform to the wearer's body so they stay without a harness.
Clitoral vibrators
Clitoral vibrators, also known as external vibes, are devices that can feel amazing outside of the clit and are intended to stimulate any external erogenous hot zones! These toys feel fantastic against your nipples and other areas of your body where you may experience tailored stimulation. Still, the clitoris head responds to vibration the best due to its extremely high concentration of nerve endings.
Wand-style vibes offer a deep and potent vibration for those who prefer to intensify sensations, while bullet vibes are great hand-held toys with a more pinpoint stimulation for targeting smaller areas. Grinding and humping toys offer a broader stimulation so you can rub and ride against them (if you're into Tribbing, check these out).
G-spot vibes
G-spot vibes have different textures and shapes that stimulate the G-spot. They are designed to target the front wall of the vaginal canal where the G-spot is located. These vibes provide a unique sensation when used during play.
G-spot vibes with an extra arm that has a motor to stimulate the clitoris are known as rabbit vibes, sometimes known as dual-stim vibrators. This allows you to experience both G-spot play and clit simultaneously. Please say yes.
Clitoris suckers
Clit suckers, sometimes referred to as suction toys, clitoral air toys, or air pleasure vibes, target the head of the clitoris and create an external pleasure zone by employing the motion and pulsation of air. They produce an extremely concentrated sensation. Clit suckers with a strong and distinct sensation, such as The Rose, are very popular. There are suction toys made to fit larger sizes, such as the Gender X Body Kisses, if you're someone on HRT and seeing bottom development or if you have more anatomy in that area.
Cock rings
Apart from the fact that, yes, some sapphic people have cocks, what are cock rings doing on a list of toys for sapphic people? Some people believe only men can use penis rings. However, anyone can enjoy vibrating rings because they are versatile and suitable for all genders. They can be worn around the base of a toy for vibrating strap-on fun, or they can be worn around the shaft for extra stimulation during any phallus-based play.
Vibrating rings also give you fantastic finger vibes, as the ring part is a rope to keep them conveniently wrapped around your fingers or hand. When fingering plays, cock rings with larger motors or shaped like rabbit ears can transform your dildo into a dual-stim toy. Alternatively, you can wear the rings at the base of your digits to increase the sense of external stimuli on the clit or rim of the booty.
